Brad And Angelina Most Influential Couple

Time released it’s list of the world’s 100 most influential people, and the highest ranking couple on the list, coming in at #21, was Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  Here’s what George Clooney says about them:

“they have tended to the poor and sick in Africa” and how they shelled out $1 million for the victims in Darfur, among other humanitarian efforts.

I wonder if after this came out, Brad Pitt turned to Angelina and was like “there, we did it.  We’re on the f*&king list, can we stop this now?  I just want to bang the crap out of you without having to go feed some kid with flies all over him.”

Adds Clooney, “The couple cares for three adopted children from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam, in addition to their biological daughter.

I’m gonna have to agree with their ranking on the influential list because before them, nobody was adopting kids from weird places.  Now, if you don’t have to get 9 different vaccinations before you go check out your adoptee, you’re way uncool.  The more ethnically diverse the orphan, the better.  Somewhere in an orphanage in Toledo, Ohio, a bunch of kids are crowded around one beat up copy of Time Magazine with Brangelina in it and going “you motherf*&kers.”

Anyway, I sort of figure these two are going to be the most influential couple for at least a couple years, unless a brand new couple comes on the scene.  But it’d have to be two pretty big stars.  Maybe something like this:

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Jolie-Pitt Baby Pics Worth 10 Million?

If I had 10 million dollars, there’s a lot of things I would buy; a monkey, a house, a house for the monkey, a mint chocolate chip ice cream factory. But I definitely wouldn’t spend any of my ten million on f-ing baby pictures. Nypost.com reports:

The celebrity baby photo market just keeps getting crazier, and the newest estimate is that the Jolie-Pitts could fetch up to $10 million for the first photos of their new twins.

10 Million Dollars for baby pictures?! For that much, not only should they give you the baby itself, but the baby should already be trained to do shit like fix cars and get rid of telemarketers. You know what, screw that, for 10 million, I’ll have scientists make me a super baby from celebrity DNA. Here’s what it would look like:

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Aniston Vs. Jolie: Round 1…FIGHT!

This is why Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt and I’m me.  He bangs two incredibly hot chicks and instead of hating him, they hate each other and still want to bang him.   people.com reports:

Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie are among the A-list hosts of this year’s Night Before pre-Oscar Bash.

The press-free charity event promises to be the first time Aniston and Jolie have met since Pitt left Aniston in 2005 and started a family with Jolie a short time later.

Man, I really wish I could see a Rocky IV style training sequence where Aniston is out in the snowy woods splitting logs with an axe and punching sides of meat, while Jolie has all this high tech equipment to train with and some russian scientist is injecting her with HGH while she drinks some power shake.

Here’s what the two fighters had to say. While you read these quotes, imagine the words in bold being said in the middle of a wrestling ring by Hulk Hogan and the Macho Man Randy Savage:

“Jen wants to go but knows it would be a disaster waiting to happen,” an Aniston insider tells Us.

Adding to the pressure: Jolie has said in the past she’d “welcome” a meeting with Aniston.

Hell yeah, let’s get this shit on! Let’s take a look at the fight card:

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