How To: Buy An HD TV

It seems like a no brainer: You walk into the electronics store at the mall, point at the biggest, flattest, cheapest set you see and plunk down your credit card. That’s fine…if you’re a total idiot. Having the wrong TV can be the difference between thousands of hours of orgasmic content consumption and a never ending cycle of crappy picture quality and extended warranties only suckers and your rotary-phone-having mom should be dumb enough to buy.

Pick a price range
Don’t pick a number that’s going to have you eating Ramen and giving HJs for gas money. But when you consider how much time you’re going to spend with this thing, you should be able to justify dipping into the booze fund. And once your number is set, stick to it. It’s far too easy for a sexy 65-incher to seduce you into taking out a loan to buy it. Trust me, I know. Oh, and do you need an HJ? The tank is on E and I really have to get to work.

Pick a panel type
Every idiot and his retarded brother has an opinion about which kind of panel, be it plasma, LCD or rear-projection, is the best. The fact of the matter is, they’re all wrong. The “best” depends on what you’re going to be using it for. Here’s a breakdown of the strengths and weaknesses:

LCD
The most popular type of set at the moment provides awesome color, lots of brightness and will last longer than a plasma before the picture starts to degrade. They’re excellent for watching movies and playing games, but some die-hard sports fans complain that their slower response times suffer during fast-paced action. They also take up less space and often put out less heat than the other guys.

Plasma:
Many true A/V nerds will tell you that plasma is capable of providing the best picture quality, especially when it comes to providing deep blacks, something the other guys kind of suck at. The downside is that plasmas have a tendency to get burn-in, so if you’re playing a video game with a life meter, it might be stuck there even after you’ve turned the game off. Also, they gradually lose brightness so they won’t last as long.

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