canada – Holytaco

25 Things the Canadian Penny Can Do Now That It’s Retired

Canada has finally done what everyone with a pocketful of pennies looking for a quarter has wanted to do for ages – they’ve abolished the little copper shit. No longer will Canadians be forced to deal with pennies and the tight asses will forever l…

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The Story of Canadian Thanksgiving

posted 10/08/2012
by Ian Fortey

Today is Canadian Thanksgiving and you may be wondering, why are Canadians allowed outside? You may also be wondering why their Thanksgiving is so damned early and, for that matter, did Canadian pilgrims land somewhere a month earlier and do the ex…

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The Inner Monologue of a Canadian Olympic Basketball Player During the Opening Ceremonies

posted 07/17/2012
by Ian Fortey

Oh God. Just…ungh. How did we let this happen? I knew I should have called in sick. Or just smoked some weed or something, they would have disqualified me. What the hell am I doing here?

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Human Face Appears In Canadian Man’s Testicle Ultrasound

posted 11/03/2011
by Luis Prada

Having a pain in your testicle is one of the most terrifying experiences in a man’s life. A single soft, wispy graze on a testicle can cause a man to crumple to the ground like his belly button is a black hole and he’s being sucked in to him…

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Holy Taco Interview: Chuck D. from The Salads

posted 05/13/2011
by Luis Prada

We’ve got a bunch of twitter followers, and some of them are famous. Never one to let a good thing go to waste, we put our famous followers to work by getting them to answer a series of (mostly) inane questions to get to know them a little bi…

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The Day I Got My Ass Kicked by Bonhomme

posted 02/09/2011
by Ian Fortey

Montreal, Quebec is an awesome town if you can get past the French. Most people discount French Canadians out of hand simply because what could they possibly have to offer the world besides baguettes and women who refuse to groom themselves with a…

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Your Pet Is Now Worthless: Meet Bailey the Beer-Drinking Bison

posted 12/14/2010
by Jame Gumb

I bet you people think your pets are pretty hardcore, don’t you? I see the way some of you walk around town with your pitbulls on giant chains thinking you’re king s**t of f**k mountain. And let’s not forget those of you with more…

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Elderly Canadians Piss Away $11 Million Dollars

posted 11/04/2010
by

Meet Allen and Violet Large. At first glance, they seem like your typical elderly couple. But dig a little deeper, and you’ll quickly find something much more sinister. For starters, they’re Canadian. I wish that was the biggest problem…

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5 Things for Which Canadians Should Be Thankful

posted 10/11/2010
by

O Canada! For those of us who are blessed with American citizenship, today is just another crappy Monday (unless you work at a bank, in which case, happy Columbus Day). But for our unfortunate brothers and sisters born north of the border, the seco…

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25 Things the Canadian Penny Can Do Now That It’s Retired

The Story of Canadian Thanksgiving

The Inner Monologue of a Canadian Olympic Basketball Player During the Opening Ceremonies

Human Face Appears In Canadian Man’s Testicle Ultrasound

Holy Taco Interview: Chuck D. from The Salads

The Day I Got My Ass Kicked by Bonhomme

Your Pet Is Now Worthless: Meet Bailey the Beer-Drinking Bison

Elderly Canadians Piss Away $11 Million Dollars

5 Things for Which Canadians Should Be Thankful

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