celebrities – Holytaco

6 Reality Shows That Need to Exist

Reality TV is preposterous. It’s never been real, it’s clearly not going away and it just mocks us all the time. Mocks our apathy, mocks out stupidity, mocks the way we just won’t turn it off. And even if you do turn it off, and I turn it off, 1,…

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Five Better Things To Do With The $65 Million The Kardashian’s Made Last Year

posted 02/24/2011
by Jim Tews

So, according to The Hollywood Reporter, the Kardashian’s made sixty-five mil last year. I actually had to Google how many zeroes were in one million, because that number is so astronomical to me. They made the money through their reality sho…

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The Only 3 Bad Things That Have Ever Happened To Justin Bieber

posted 02/15/2011
by Jim Tews

The Only 3 Bad Things That Have Ever Happened To Justin Bieber

Yeah, I know. Short list. A top five list would’ve made more sense, but even after a serious research session, we could only come up with three bad things that have happened to the li’l fella. Turns out his life is still better than mos…

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17 and a Half Women: A Short List of Chicks Charlie Sheen Has Put Stuff In

posted 01/28/2011
by Jim Tews

Charlie Sheen is back in the saddle again, doing blow and banging porn stars. Allegedly. It was recently reported by TMZ that he was on a 36 hour bender with porn star Kacey Jordan, four other women, and a briefcase full of cocaine. I guess he gets…

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Hey Sixteen-Year-Old Reader, Justin Beiber Has a Better Life Than You!

posted 12/27/2010
by Jim Tews

Hey Sixteen-Year-Old Reader, Justin Beiber Has a Better Life Than You!

Say what you want about his music, but when it comes to life, Justin Bieber’s winning. At just sixteen years old, Bieber has already topped you. He’s had two chart-topping albums and a string of hot girlfriends. His awful, swooping, lego-man hair…

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The Greatest Video You Will See All Month: ‘Gylne Tider – Let It Be’

posted 12/03/2010
by

This week, we’ve saved the best for last. I’m supposed to do one more article, but it’s Friday night, and I’m beat. I worked my ass off all day writing articles about Robocop and elderly porn stars. It’s time to unwind…

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5 People Who Are Probably Responsible for the Bedbug Epidemic

posted 09/20/2010
by

As those of you who spend your days closely monitoring parasites know, there is a bedbug epidemic sweeping our great nation. After being nearly eradicated in the U.S. after World War II, the insects known as Cimex Lectularius are back, and this tim…

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25 Celebrities in Ridiculous Disguises

posted 09/17/2010
by

Mel Gibson recently showed us how creative celebrities can truly be when trying to have some privacy by investing in what is arguably the worst, apparently sincere, disguise in the history of ever. If he’d put a condom over his head and…

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Celebrities Go Back to School

posted 09/07/2010
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All of us had to go to school at some point – except for idiots. Even your favorite celebrities. Yadda yadda, segue into an image-based article of celebrities photoshopped to be school children. Haha, priceless!

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Steve Urkel Punches Fake Boobies and 5 Other Washed Up Celebrity Hijinks

posted 08/13/2010
by

Word has it that Jaleel White, better known as Steve Urkel from TV’s “This F*ckin’ Sucks” has taken up amateur boxing. Specifically, he’s been playing the speed bag on some lady’s breast implant. That someone t…

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Celebrity Politicans We’d Like to See

posted 08/12/2010
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Ronald Reagan, Sonny Bono and Arnold Schwarzenegger are trendsetters we can get behind – dudes who were mostly unqualified for their jobs who were elected to powerful positions anyway. That’s awesome. That’s America (and most of…

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25 Celebrities We’ve Never Seen Naked

posted 07/10/2010
by

We’re not saying we want them naked we’re not saying we don’t. We’re just making an observation.

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6 Reality Shows That Need to Exist

Five Better Things To Do With The $65 Million The Kardashian’s Made Last Year

The Only 3 Bad Things That Have Ever Happened To Justin Bieber

17 and a Half Women: A Short List of Chicks Charlie Sheen Has Put Stuff In

Hey Sixteen-Year-Old Reader, Justin Beiber Has a Better Life Than You!

The Greatest Video You Will See All Month: ‘Gylne Tider – Let It Be’

5 People Who Are Probably Responsible for the Bedbug Epidemic

25 Celebrities in Ridiculous Disguises

Celebrities Go Back to School

Steve Urkel Punches Fake Boobies and 5 Other Washed Up Celebrity Hijinks

Celebrity Politicans We’d Like to See

25 Celebrities We’ve Never Seen Naked

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