Paris Hilton Wants To Buy Cheetah

I’m starting to really enjoy the combination of being really super rich with being really super stupid.  It’s like right up there with the mixing of peanut butter and jelly, or hands and boobs.  Popsugar  reports:

Paris Hilton had her eye on some major purchases while she was in South Africa with Benji.

She inquired about the price of a cheetah at the animal park, saying, “If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?”

Okay, upon first glance that might have seemed like a stupid question.  But what if she was planning on training the cheetah and then teaming up with it to fight crime?  Then that question kind of makes sense.  For instance, what if her and the Cheetah are in the middle of an undercover drug bust, thousands of pounds of smack on the table and a bunch of gangsters trying to sell it off.  And Paris and the Cheetah are disguised as two brothers from croatia who want in on the west Baltimore drug trade.  Then suddenly paris’ goatee falls off right when she’s about to make the deal and the gangster dudes grab her before she can say the sentence “This Baltimore weather is not like home in Croatia” which will bring the back up that’s waiting a few blocks away.  At that point, she needs a cheetah who she can keep, not one that’s going to run away.  Holy shit, what the hell am I talking about?

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