Chelsea Clinton was asked how the Lewinsky scandal has affected her mom’s run for the presidency. Chelsea brushed the question off, but am I the only one who finds it amusing that this question was asked at Butler University? Is there any more appropriately named school to ask questions about someone who crammed a cigar up an intern’s whoo-haa, lit it and said, “That tastes good.”
Good thing you asked. To keep with the theme, here’s five other schools I hope Chelsea visits on her tour of universities:
5. Tufts
4. Mount St. Mary’s
3. Morehead State
2. Beaver State
1. Coppin (a feel) State
Svetlana Medvedev is the going to be the new Russian first lady this May, but I couldn’t help notice her uncanny resemblance to former first daughter Chelsea Clinton. I’m not sure if it’s the jowely face or the extra wide fish mouth or the power-hungry glint in their eyes that makes them look like sisters, but whatever it is, it’s freaking me out.
If Hillary gets back in the White House, I hope Svetlana and Chelsea pull some wacky Parent Trap-style caper where they switch roles and start an earth-annihilating nuclear war. That would be hilarious.
People, he wasn’t being f*&king pejorative! Come on! There wasn’t anything pejorative about it! First of all, what the hell has happened in America when you have to apologize for saying someone was “pimped out?” If he had said “They’re pimping Chelsea Clinton out like a dirty herpes-infected hooker, then maybe, MAAAAAYBE I could see an apology necessary. Secondly, why is it when some network dude apologizes from something dumb he said, we have to hear a 2 minute recap of bullshit before he can apologize, and when he does he uses words like pejorative. How about “Hey, I’m a robot that panders to a small group of easily offended people. I apologize to those people. Thank you.”
Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We’re not saying we’re cool, we’re just saying if you own any of these items, you’re not.