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Chris Brown Explains Himself in GIF Form

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So there are a lot of rumors going around about what happened this weekend. Let me set things straight once and for all. People got the wrong idea about me! I was a hero this weekend, straight up! Here’s how it went down;

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25 Things Chris Brown Wants for Christmas

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As you know, Chris Brown and I are buddies on Twitter. Which is to say I make fun of him a lot and he presumably has no idea I exist. But I only do it because he’s such a terrible person. He is. Objectively. Because of this relationship we have…

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An Open Letter To Chris Brown On The Subject of Shutting Up

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Hello Mr. Brown, Firstly, f*ck you. You beat a woman with your fists. F*ck you.

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Congratulations, Chris Brown!

Congratulations, Chris Brown!

So good news for Rihanna, Chris Brown recently completed a court-ordered domestic violence class. Way to go Chris! Now, thanks to some inside sources, we were able to find a transcription of Chris’s welcome letter:

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Totally BS Profile of Jasmine Sanders

Totally BS Profile of Jasmine Sanders

  Against all odds, R&B singer and expert woman beater Chris Brown has landed a new girlfriend, smoking hot model Jasmine Sanders.  As if that’s not enough of a recovery from his recent downfall, if last night’s BET Awards…

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2009 Douchebag Tournament: Elite 8

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  There were some big blowouts in the round of Sweet 16, but the biggest news story is Al Sharpton continued his cinderella run with a big win over Glenn Beck. Will he make it to the Final Four? Your votes will decide.   Click here to se…

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2009 Douchebag Tournament: The Sweet 16

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  We had our closest matches yet yesterday, with a few games being decided by less than one percentage point (Coulter over O’Reilly, Francis over Mozilo and Trump over Thain) and a few other really close ones (Kanye over Cruise and PacMa…

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