Travis Henry Scores…Cocaine

For those of you who don’t know who Travis Henry is, he’s essentially the most interesting player in the NFL. He has nine children by nine different women. Any time you can play a baseball game with one team fielded by your biological children and the other team fielded by their mothers, you’ve done something incredibly special. If that game ever happens, I swear on the life of my unborn child I will cover that for Holy Taco. Anyway, as if anything I say about him now will sound interesting, he was busted for coke. Espn.com reports:

Former Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry has been arrested following an alleged cocaine deal, the Drug Enforcement Administration said Wednesday.

Henry and James Mack were arrested a day earlier after the two met to buy cocaine from a person who was cooperating with authorities, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.

He was set up? Why would you ever set up Travis Henry, for no other reason than the fact that there’s a good chance because of sheer numbers alone, that at least one of his 18 wives or children will decide to avenge his arrest.

I’m wondering if right before the cops went in and busted him, one of them grabbed a stick and started drawing stuff in the sand and was like “Okay, I had him on my fantasy team a couple years ago. He’s an uphill runner so we’re going to have to go for his legs. If he gets to the outside, he’ll look for blockers and cut it upfield, so make sure we clear the alley of any homeless people.”

I should have seen this arrest coming, seeing as the signs were right there on his rookie card.

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President Bush Can’t Remember If He Did Cocaine

In Scott McClellan’s new book, the former White House Press Secretary claims that our fearless leader can’t quite remember if he plowed through a few fat rails in his earlier partying days:

Writes McClellan: “‘The media won’t let go of these ridiculous cocaine rumors,’ I heard Bush say. ‘You know, the truth is I honestly don’t remember whether I tried it or not. We had some pretty wild parties back in the day, and I just don’t remember.’

“I remember thinking to myself, How can that be? How can someone simply not remember whether or not they used an illegal substance like cocaine? It didn’t make a lot of sense.”

First off, if you can’t remember whether you did it or not, then I’m pretty sure that means you did it. But this makes me wonder, if he can’t remember something as important as whether or not he snorted coke, then what else could he be forgetting? Here are a few other little tidbits that may have slipped the president’s mind:

Is that one Jenna or Barbara? I mean, seriously, they’re twins.

cocaine, george bush, president, remember

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