Explore Holy Taco

25 Honest Thoughts a Guy Had on Tinder

Tinder

23. Take the sun glasses and ski mask off. TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.

Read Full Article

6 Types of Girls You’ll Meet on a Reality Dating Show

head

Right now there is a dating show on TV. Flick through the channels, it’s there. From decrepit reruns of Chuck Woolery’s Love Connection to Excused, the 5th Wheel, the Bachelor, Flavor of Love and a few thousand others, the idea that you could mee…

Read Full Article

Website Prevents Accidental Icelandic Inbreeding

Iceland_Inbreeding

For most of us, incest isn’t a problem. We don’t have to worry about it. Yes, your 1st cousin might have a nice rack, but she lives in Newark and long distance incestual relationships never work. Very few among us have to deal with incest and inbree…

Read Full Article

Five Best “Dating On Demand” Videos

DatingOnDemand

Finding a partner with the assistance of technology takes on many forms nowadays, it’s not just Match.com or OkCupid. Now, if you have Comcast cable, you can watch videos of potential mates with “Dating on Demand”, the latest poop…

Read Full Article

Going with It: 6 of the Best Worst Scams to Pick Up Women

scamming

If you’re like the Holy Taco staff, you don’t need tricks to pick up women because you gave up on interpersonal relationships years ago. But if you’re not like us, then maybe you do need some help talking to the fairer sex (that’s ladies; they’re …

Read Full Article

Why Lindsay Lohan Should Date the Staff of Holy Taco

lindsay and the taco

Lindsay Lohan has had what some might call a spotted history in the limelight. It’s spotted with feces. Feces best described as shit. It’s a train wreck and that train was hauling a inordinate number of boxcars full of shit and hobos who alrea…

Read Full Article

10 Worst Movies To Watch On a Date

10 Worst Movies To Watch On a Date

Congrats! You finally got that girl from your community college english class to agree to come to your place and watch a movie with you. So many things to consider, you charming devil. What are you going to wear? What are you going to eat? What are…

Read Full Article

The Top 10 Dating Sites of 2011: A Holy Taco Rundown

bad date

In this inaugural Holy Taco Rundown, we’re resting our intern’s brain after the stewing it took over the holidays and taking someone else’s list so we can make a mockery of it. In fact, that’s all we plan to ever down in the Rundown. Enjoy! Accor…

Read Full Article

4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend’s Ex

4 Ways to Get Rid of Your Girlfriend’s Ex

So, you have a girlfriend. Awesome. No life as lonely old hermit for you, eh? Nope, you have a reason to bathe and not turn the hose on neighborhood kids who step on your lawn. You have love! And you must protect it at all costs. Your girlfri…

Read Full Article

Maximize Your Sex Appeal

Maximize Your Sex Appeal

  Being sexy is no easy task, just ask an ugly person. Man have they failed. A lot of hard work, effort and, yes, some luck is required to meet the high standards of sexy, especially in this day and age. Back when your grandparents were kid…

Read Full Article

It’s Not Me It’s You

It’s Not Me It’s You

  In the history of lines, few have seemed so insincere as “it’s not you it’s me.” It veritably reeks with desperation, a ploy so soulless that only someone riddled with furious ADHD who’s trying to watch Phineas…

Read Full Article