death – Holytaco

What’s A Sure-Fire Way To Get An Extended Vacation? Fake Your Own Daughter’s Death!

If you’re human, there’s a good chance you’ve made up an elaborate lie that you’ve used to get a day off from work. There are the classic examples of faking an illness and the death of a grandmother, but rarely do we go to great lengths to give the…

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Space Hates You : 6 Cosmic Death Traps

posted 11/09/2011
by Ian Fortey

On November 8th at 6:28 EST, an asteroid passed so close to Earth, if you were standing on your roof you could have licked it. And as awesome as that sounds, you also need to appreciate how close you were to becoming a spray of one atom thick, gro…

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25 Brutal Historical Methods of Execution

posted 10/05/2011
by Ian Fortey

The US remains one of the few countries in the world that still engages in capital punishment. Historically, however, it was widely used in a wide variety of ways that are sure to make you uncomfortable if you pause to think about it too long.

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The King is Dead, Long Live The King!: Burger King Retires The King

posted 08/19/2011
by Luis Prada

All of us that enjoy commercials that have shred of originality and a dash of creepiness and a large dose of insanity are grieving today, as Burger King as announced that they are officially retiring their mascot The King. Yes, the bearded, …

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Pondering The Potential Hilarity (and Tragedy) of This Car Getting In To an Accident

posted 12/21/2010
by Luis Prada

Pondering The Potential Hilarity (and Tragedy) of This Car Getting In To an Accident

Is it weird to think that this might be the only conceivable situation where a baby’s death might be hilarious? It would be tragic as all hell. That poor child’s life is drastically cut short by the stupidity of what I assume is its father, but wo…

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I Sharted Today

posted 12/02/2010
by

I sharted today. There, I said it. And you know what? I sharted yesterday, too. In fact, I can’t stop sharting. I won’t go into the gory details, but during the first incident, the breech was minimal, and the clothing was salvaged. For …

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Farewell, Leslie Nielsen

posted 11/29/2010
by

The world lost an epic comedian this week as Leslie Nielsen passed away, ensuring that neither he nor OJ would be back for Naked Gun 4. Rest in Peace Mr. Nielsen. Don’t call him Shirley. Read More Here.

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Segway Owner Killed by Segway: The Day Irony Fought Back

posted 09/27/2010
by

Every so often you’ll read something so over the top morbid it becomes instantly hilarious. Unless you’re related to Jimi Heselden, in which case this will all be very tasteless. That said, Jimi Heselden was a multi-millionaire who pu…

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The Inner Monologue of a Gold Digger on Her Wedding Night to a 90 Year Old Millionaire

posted 06/22/2010
by

That ceremony took forever. The priest was almost as old as this guy and I think he may have had a stroke during the ring exchange. And what was that smell? It was like menthol cigarettes and baby powder. Is that the smell of death? God, I hop…

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What if Mr. T Was a Grief Counselor?

posted 06/02/2010
by

Listen up! I know this situation is hard. I know you feel like a sucka. I know all kinds of things. Things happen. That’s how things work. You need to know that. Tell me you know that. Say it. Louder!

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Drunken Argument Friday: Would Immortality Be Awesome or Crappy?

posted 09/25/2009
by

If there’s one thing we like to do more than drink, it’s argue about really important stuff, like whether Immortality would be really awesome, or really crappy. Here’s what it sounds like when we do both at the same time: &…

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What’s A Sure-Fire Way To Get An Extended Vacation? Fake Your Own Daughter’s Death!

Space Hates You : 6 Cosmic Death Traps

25 Brutal Historical Methods of Execution

The King is Dead, Long Live The King!: Burger King Retires The King

Pondering The Potential Hilarity (and Tragedy) of This Car Getting In To an Accident

I Sharted Today

Farewell, Leslie Nielsen

Segway Owner Killed by Segway: The Day Irony Fought Back

The Inner Monologue of a Gold Digger on Her Wedding Night to a 90 Year Old Millionaire

What if Mr. T Was a Grief Counselor?

Drunken Argument Friday: Would Immortality Be Awesome or Crappy?

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