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Quick! Buy Now! Buy Diamond-Encrusted, Gold-Plated Contact Lenses So Your Eyes Can Piss Money!

Diamond Contacts

Hey, there, John Q. Public and Sally H. Regularperson! Have you ever spent hours in front of the mirror trying to put together the perfect assemble for your night on the town, but couldn’t find the right element on the periodic table to cram in to…

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At Least It’s Honest

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