Posts Tagged ‘dog’


June 2nd, 2008  |   07:15

dog sex german

It’s early on a Monday, so let’s get right into this one. According to Orlando’s Sun Sentinel:

A Palm Beach Gardens man and his mother, a middle school science teacher, are permanently barred from owning or possessing animals, a judge ruled Thursday after watching a short film of the man having sex in his bedroom with a German shepherd.

Judge Frank Castor also ordered that the county be given custody of the woman’s pets — two German shepherds and two cats — and ruled that she and her son, 18, jointly pay the county $1,848 in boarding costs and other fees.

The woman urged the judge not to take away her dogs, and said not allowing her to have future pets “is punishing the mother for the sins of a son.”

She told the judge, “I have not done anything wrong or have hurt these animals in any way. I was mortified to find this was going on.”

The county intends to put the animals up for adoption.

Boning dogs is one thing, but do you really have to film it? Only bad things can happen to a tape of you getting it on with a dog. But on the upside, I bet adopting these dogs would make for great conversation starters whenever you had people over to your house. This is how I imagine that conversation going:

Party Guest: Thanks for inviting me over. Hey, I didn’t know you had dogs. They’re so cute!

Host: Yeah, I just got them last week. I adopted them from the shelter.

Party Guest: Aww, that’s adorable. What are their names?

Host: That one is called “Sparky” and that one quivering behind the couch is named “I Got Raped.”

Party Guest: Those are…interesting…names…

Host: Yeah, well, I call that one Sparky because he’s always full of energy. And I call that other one “I Got Raped” because he got raped by a teenager who recorded it. Do you want to see the short film of the rape?

Party Guest: I have to leave.


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April 5th, 2008  |   05:00

If you don’t like monkeys then I hate you. I hate you so much. I love how the people are cheering on the monkey, yet the dog is probably thinking “Holy shit, what the hell kind of dog is this?” The best part about monkeys are that they’ll F with anyone and any thing. They don’t give a shit. They’re like my cousin, except they don’t get their ass beat afterwards and start asking me why I didn’t back them up.


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March 13th, 2008  |   09:45

You know you’ve got a real knack for journalism when you only need 70 words to tell the world about the greatest news story in the history of the universe. Bravo, Akron Beacon Journal, bravo.


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January 18th, 2008  |   08:50

As a longtime fan of The Weekly World News, I was pleasantly surprised to see this story about a Russian dog who gave birth to some human-ish mutant creature. Well, it’s not really a story because there are no words, it’s just a series of pictures on a Russian website called Pravda.com.

Now, before we all go crazy and accuse Mickey Rourke of going to Moscow and impregnating a dog, I think it should be pointed out that a few of the other “articles” on this website are: “Aliens Caught On Tape For The First Time,” “Teenager Invents Air Powered Car,” and “Toyota To Launch Plug-In Hybrid by 2010.” Continue reading…


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