Jack Black Replaces His Soul With Money

I try not to call anybody a sell out because if somebody paid me enough, I’d pretty much do anything. Especially if they paid me in cases of the delicious new Diet Pepsi Max, which contains zero calories but still has all the great flavor of the original! But I used to think Jack Black was really funny, so it bugged me when I read this story from variety.com today:

Jack Black is back as the host of this year’s Nickelodeon kids’ Choice Awards.

“Kids adore Jack, and his energy and unpredictability are a perfect fit for the KCA,” said Marjorie Cohn, exec VP of development for Nickelodeon.

Kids do love his energy. Such as the energy displayed in the Tenacious D short film where he drinks a bucket of band mate Kyle’s semen.

He hosted this once before and I gave him a pass. But two times, it rubs me the wrong way because he used to be what studio executives call “edgy.” Anyway, I decided I had to ask him why he agreed to do this, so I went to h is house and walked in on this:

I can’t blame him. If I had that much money I’d get 300 strippers, all 316 division I college basketball jerseys, and then have them recreate my favorite March Madness games from the 90s. Take that ESPN classic!

(6)