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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: December 13th

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I think I missed even writing this feature last week, probably due to drunkenness or prison, but I’ll thank you not to meddle in my affairs. I trust all the films from last week sucked, however.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: November 8th

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All the good movie news this week was about movies that aren’t out yet, like Star Wars and whatnot. But on the upside, the new Thor is here, that oughtta make a buttload of money, right? Right!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Nov 1st

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In a short time the Christmas movie season will begin complete with family films and a handful of what those industry types like to call “blockbusters” to pad out the season.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: October 25th

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Last week Carrie dropped a telekinetic turd on the movie going public and no one was amused, least of all me who hasn’t seen a movie in months. When will this dry spell end?!?

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: October 18th

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Another fun filled week of movies is upon us, will it be as stellar as last week with whatever the hell came out? I haven’t seen a movie in a few weeks so I kind of forget what happened lately.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: October 11th

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This week is as exciting to me as sitting in a library reading books on tax law. Despite this, it is my solemn duty as a guy who voluntarily gives his opinions on things he knows nothing about to continue sharing said opinions with you, then 13 peo…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: October 4th

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Last week the box office was owned by Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2, just as I predicted. I think. I dunno, I’m not going to check. Sounds like something I would have predicted.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: September 27th

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I think I missed this last week due to almost dying, but no time to reminisce, it’s time to see what movies are coming out this week to entertain the masses!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: September 13th

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It’s Friday the 13th so watch out for guys in hockey masks who aren’t playing hockey – that shit is straight up bad news. But until your imminent demise, let’s check out the movies that open today. Oh, I’m so excited.

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: September 6th

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It’s the beginning of September so hopefully we’re done with the August crapfest of movies like last week’s utter trash.

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 30th

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Quick, before looking, name a movie that opens this week. Yeah, you can’t because jack shit opens this week. This is the weirdest thing ever. Usually there’s at least one movie every week that is the “big” release, you know? Not this week. Ever…

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