florida – Holytaco

Daytona Beach, Florida Is Home To The Least Attractive Prostitutes In The World

This past weekend, Daytona Beach police swept through the city and arrested 15 prostitutes in an effort to further sexually frustrate lonely people. Everybody knows that the only way to make people feel safe is if you stop people from completing a s…

Read Full Article

You Questioning Conway Twitty’s Heterosexuality? I’ll Fight You!

posted 12/09/2011
by Jim Tews

More awesome happenings in the sunshine state — two dudes got into a serious bar brawl over the sexual orientation of the late country singer, Conway Twitty. According to the news story the two men got into a scuffle that had the double-wide …

Read Full Article

Malcolm Brenner Had A Sexual Relationship With A Dolphin, Then Wrote A Book About It

posted 09/23/2011
by Luis Prada

Malcolm Brenner is just like any other guy, in that he let a dolphin hump him regularly over the course of 9-months and derived great pleasure from it, and then, on top of that, wrote a book about it titled “Wet Goddess”, which sounds like t…

Read Full Article

Helping Florida Decide Whether Bestiality Should Be Outlawed

posted 03/24/2011
by Luis Prada

Ahh, Florida. My home. The land of withering old Jews, Cubans that refuse to learn English after living in the States for multiple decades, and some of the finest, stupidest criminals on Earth. In short, it’s the retirement home for America’s most …

Read Full Article

The Article In Which Holy Taco Makes Fun of a Physically Deformed Child Molester

posted 03/23/2011
by Luis Prada

It’s not good to make fun of people with physical deformities. I mean, we do it on Holy Taco all the time, but we’re very upfront how we let down humanity on a nearly constant basis. Making fun of child molesters is alright, though. They’re dirty, …

Read Full Article

Best Halloween Costume Ever?

posted 11/03/2009
by

Phillies & Yankees Fans Parking Lot Brawl (TotalProSports) Long Distance Relationships 101 (MadeMan) The Alabama Nation (AllLeftTurns) Richard Kelly And His Box (ScreenJunkies) The Eye Bleach Head Explosion (IAmBored)…

Read Full Article

The Day My Dad Was Accidentally the Coolest DJ In Florida

posted 10/07/2009
by

My dad is a pretty normal guy. He collects guns and swords, he designs and manufactures his own flea circuses, and he’s always dressing up as a wizard and doing magic tricks for people. Y’know, just normal "Dad" stu…

Read Full Article

Is She Supposed To Be Talking About Football?

posted 03/19/2009
by

The other day we said that Florida was the ninth level of hell for the living. And the fact that the people of that state elected Corinne Brown (D – FL) to their legislature pretty much proves our point. Other Crap …

Read Full Article