Explore Holy Taco

5 Gross Food Items That Are Only Gross Because Our Brains Said So


Eggs? Omelette time. Roast duck? Fire up that grill! But eat a bird in that delicious in-between fetus stage, and suddenly you’re a war criminal.

Read Full Article

Spreadable Things That Shouldn’t Be Spreadable


Some foods are naturally spreadable, like butter, or peanut butter, or apple butter. Other foods have been forced into spreadability to appease mankind’s epic sloth. And not like a real sloth, because an epic sloth would be cool, I mean that in th…

Read Full Article

The 5 Best Poor Foods No Money Can Buy


I’ve probably written on most kinds of foods at one time or another – the best tacos, wings, shit you can buy at the dollar store, drinks, candy and chips, but today I write about food as a public service. Cheap food. Value food! Food you can buy…

Read Full Article

Ranking Everyday Tasks in Order of Difficulty When You’re Dead Tired


Do you sleep much? I don’t. I want to. My idea of a good day involves sleeping till noon. I could sleep for a solid 14 hours if left to my own devices, but alas I have work and life and responsibilities and a social stigma that says you’re a bi…

Read Full Article

5 Toppings I Never Want to See on a Burger


Burgers are awfully close to the world’s most awesome food. There’s tacos, there’s wings, there’s properly made barbecue and there’s burgers. Yes these are all meats because as much as I enjoy a nice cherry, it ain’t meat. Something needs to no l…

Read Full Article

5 Foods I Don’t Want to Eat from Etsy


Did I just write a whole week’s worth of food related articles for some reason? Yes I did. Go with it. Everyone eats, it’s relatable. That said, I found myself on Etsy looking for some crocheted nut warmers today and ran afoul of their food sect…

Read Full Article

The Krazy Kraft Kuisine Kontrivance


It recently occurred to me that Kraft makes both Miracle Whip and Mac and Cheese, two foods that depress me to no end. Miracle Whip was invented as some kind of mayo knock off and tastes nothing like it, it just looks the same and I don’t even know…

Read Full Article

The 4 Saddest Canned Foods Ever

canned food

This article needs to be clarified right off the bat. It’s not about gross canned foods, there are lots of those articles out there showing off pig brains and canned duck penis and who knows what else. This is focused on foods that are just depres…

Read Full Article

The 6 Worst Chocolates Ever


Usually I try to stray from personal pieces in my writing, unless it’s an article about Fleshlights and I assume you’d all be interested in knowing what my wang is up to. But this one, I feel, is an important educational piece, a public service, if…

Read Full Article

5 Cheeses That Need to Be Made


Cheese making is probably pretty simple. I’ve never endeavored to make much cheese, but I have tried once. I made some homemade marscapone. It tasted kind of like off yogurt. But the point is I did it and could probably do it again. Cheese was…

Read Full Article

Celebrate Pie Season with Pie


Fall is in full swing and if you live in a part of the world in which leaves turn colors, they turned colored. Some people find that beautiful. For the rest of us it means we have to rake the damn lawn again. Oh good, the tree shat everywhere. W…

Read Full Article