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Spreadable Things That Shouldn’t Be Spreadable

alouette-spreadable-cheese-web

Some foods are naturally spreadable, like butter, or peanut butter, or apple butter. Other foods have been forced into spreadability to appease mankind’s epic sloth. And not like a real sloth, because an epic sloth would be cool, I mean that in th…

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The 5 Most Terrible Foods Someone Will Bring to Your BBQ

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It’s that time of year again, when you move the kitchen outdoors and get tanked with your friends in the yard while you eat in folding chairs and reminisce about a time when you got drunk and ate food in folding chairs and then puked in a potted pla…

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4 Things We Keep Doing (And Keep Regretting)

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Everyone has regrets. Your friends, your coworkers, my parents, the world is full of people who made bad choices and lived to feel bad about it, but maybe it’s a learning experience that we are able to feel regret, something we can internalize and …

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25 Hungry, Hungry Politicians

Rick Perry Visits Iowa State Fair

At some point in time, campaign managers decided that, if you want a career in politics, people need to see you eating ice cream or corn dogs. So from that we got this whole gallery. Bonus points for Nixon for being extra creepy.

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Oklahoma State Senator Likes To Imagine There Are Aborted Fetuses In Your Food

chili

For so many years we’ve assumed our favorite food brands were free of aborted human babies but they totally weren’t. And it took the tireless work of one senator to expose the truth and save us from living within a horrible Soylent Green-esque world…

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Invalid Arguments Against The DASH Diet

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Fat people and people who think they’re fat keep talking about the DASH diet, so we figured it was in our best interest to find out what it was, then make fun of it accordingly. The “DASH” part of it is actually an acronym which s…

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My First Trip To Costco: Diary of An Overwhelmed Holiday Shopper

Costco

I had never been to a Costco, or any buy-in-bulk type of store for that matter, in my life, until this past Friday, December 30th, 2011. I just never had any of those kinds of stores within a reasonable distance. I figured if I can get the same stu…

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McDonald’s Commercials You’ve Probably Never Seen

McDonald’s Commercials You’ve Probably Never Seen

The McDonald’s items you’re used to aren’t universal you xenophobe. There’s other countries out there, and they all have McDonald’s. The only difference is, their McDonald’s sells some seriously weird stuff, and …

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5 Great Snack Foods For Latchkey Kids

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So your parents are constantly working to put a roof over your head. They work late hours and you’re the one who suffers. You’re old enough to watch yourself now, and you won’t set the house on fire. Or at least if you do, youR…

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5 Flavors No One Needs to See in Cereal Again

CEREAL

The cereal aisle at the grocery store is the closest thing to a Toys R Us you’ll see outside of an actual Toys R Us. It panders only to children with maybe one half of a rack reserved for cereal you, as an adult, don’t feel like an idiot purchasin…

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10 Reasons to Have Your Next Meal at the Heart Attack Grill

10 Reasons to Have Your Next Meal at the Heart Attack Grill

We’ve spent a fair amount of time making fun of America’s eating habits, and the establishments that support them, but usually we were exaggerating, or even fabricating the stories to point out the ridiculousness of the whole thing. We …

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The State Fair Food Experience

fried foods

The internet has exploded in the last few years with an abundance of food related videos and sites that celebrate gluttony, over indulgence and being borderline bovine in one’s eating habits. The bacon obsession, Epic Meal Time, Guy Fieri; all ded…

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