Who’s A Better Rapper: Will.I.Am or Raindrop?

Will.I.Am managed to put on the worst performance in rap history at yesterday’s Grammys. It was more embarrassing than watching your parents have sex…with your grandparents. It was so bad that it reminded me of Raindrop—the 12-year-old hip hop extraordinaire who laid waste to MC Mike Glambin in a now legendary middle school rap battle. I am asking this question seriously: Can you tell me who is a better rapper?

I can’t tell the difference between the wildly successful rapper who’s made millions and the bucktoothed suburban dork who stutters and drools all over himself. I’ll call this one a draw.

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Amy Winehouse Ruins The Grammys

If there was one reason to tune into the Grammy’s, it would’ve been to see an emaciated and obliterated Amy Winehouse stumble up to the podium and mumble something about how the carpet used to be a reindeer. But it looks like we won’t get that chance now. According to Celebritysmackblog:

The US Embassy has denied Amy Winehouse’s request for a visa, quashing her hopes of attending this weekend’s Grammy Awards.

Winehouse is said to be extremely disappointed that she will miss the event.

“Amy has been progressing well since entering a rehabilitation clinic two weeks ago and although disappointed with the decision has accepted the ruling and will be concentrating on her recovery,” the Outside Organization said.

As disappointed as she is claiming to be, she is nowhere near as devastated as I am. Can we please hook up a satellite feed or something? Maybe a needlecam? I will do whatever it takes to get this mid-meltdown weirdo junkie in front of millions of people.

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