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Great Failures from the Past: Mario is Missing

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Bowser kidnaps Mario, and Luigi must save him. But not by murdering everything in his path while sliding down flagpoles and gathering power-ups that Bowser really should’ve removed beforehand: no, he did so by walking around various real-world…

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Great Failures From The Past: Not Larry the Not Cable Guy

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Larry the Cable Guy used to be an ultra-cheesy early ’90s standup comic named Dan Whitney. And if you thought Larry was annoying, he’s actually an improvement over Dan, who might have been the unfunniest person ever. Puppies abandoned un…

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Great Failures from the Past: The Bud Bundy Rap Album

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The guy who portrayed Bud Bundy, David Faustino, was huge into rap, despite being tiny and white. He even released an album, because nobody told him Grandmaster B was a joke. His single “I Told Ya” is still on YouTube, because Satan̵…

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Great Failures From the Past: Devil Comes Back to Georgia

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“Devil Comes Back to Georgia” is the little-known sequel to “Devil Went Down to Georgia.” It might be the laziest song ever recorded, because it’s the EXACT SAME SONG as its prequel. Devil fiddle-duels Johnny again, pla…

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Great Failures From the Past: The Sit-Down Ironing Board

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Great Failures From the Past: Billy Joel’s High-Pitched Debut Album

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Billy Joel doesn’t like his debut album, Cold Spring Harbor. Not because it sucks, but because his idiot producer somehow sped up the record while mastering it, turning Joel and his band into a bunch of high-pitched, squeaking munchkins. And u…

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