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A Reasonable Alternative to Cell Phones

A Reasonable Alternative to Cell Phones

A Very Special Guest Article by Jack Robichaud   In this day and age, cell phones are everything. People hold their entire lives inside that one little trinket of mechanical genius, but is it getting to be too much? Are we spending too much tim…

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A Teabagger’s Analysis of the New $100 Bill

A Teabagger’s Analysis of the New $100 Bill

  If I was gonna take over a country, you know what I’d do? I’d get elected president, and then I’d make a new $100 bill and put all kinds of secret messages in it to make the country socialist. Well guess what? That’s …

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Guest Column: You Are All a Bunch of Buttholes

Guest Column: You Are All a Bunch of Buttholes

  Like most kids, my favorite time of year is Christmas time.  I don’t understand why Thanksgiving is so great, and I can’t wait until it’s over because that means it’s almost time for Christmas. That’s the t…

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Guest Column: Why I Fist Bumped the Dalai Lama

Guest Column: Why I Fist Bumped the Dalai Lama

  Hello, The Public!  It’s me, Mayor Myron Lowery!  Y’know, people have been giving me a hard time ever since I fist bumped the Dalai Lama a few days ago.  People are using big words, like "disrespectful", …

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Guest Column: Why NOT Create Anti-Gravity Mice?

Guest Column: Why NOT Create Anti-Gravity Mice?

  You may have heard that me and some of my scientist buddies have been messing around with some mice lately, making them float around in anti-gravity chambers for weeks on end.  A lot of people say things like, "Hey, Science Guys, h…

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Guest Column: Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table Speaks Out

Guest Column: Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table Speaks Out

    By now, a lot of you have seen the clip of Barney Frank’s dining room table comment at a recent town hall meeting (or what’s become known in the dining room table community simply as ‘the comment’).  Basica…

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Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

  Hey dude!  It’s me, your penis!  We know each other pretty well, so let’s skip the cheezy introductions and get down to business: we need to talk.  You’ve been coming up short big time lately, and something&#…

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Guest Column: What Crazy Homeless Guy’s Deal Is

Guest-Column-What-Crazy-Homeless-Guys-Deal

  What’s up, you guys!  It’s me, the homeless guy who’s always screaming profanities in your neighborhood at 2am.  I’m the guy who causes you to lose a lot of sleep, call the police every now and then, and fee…

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