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How Delonte West Hooked Up With Lebron’s Mom

How Delonte West Hooked Up With Lebron’s Mom

  Ever since the world found out that I’ve been banging Lebron James’s mom, a lot of people have been asking me how one might go about hooking up with the mother of their own friend. Whenever I’m posed with that question, I u…

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Guest Column: Your Site Is Cool, I Guess

Guest Column: Your Site Is Cool, I Guess

  (Holy Taco’s Facebook Fan Page recently surpassed the coveted 2,000 Fans benchmark. To celebrate this momentus occasion, we asked our 2,000th Facebook Fan to write a guest article explaining why he likes Holy Taco so much.  This i…

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Guest Column: You Are All a Bunch of Buttholes

Guest Column: You Are All a Bunch of Buttholes

  Like most kids, my favorite time of year is Christmas time.  I don’t understand why Thanksgiving is so great, and I can’t wait until it’s over because that means it’s almost time for Christmas. That’s the t…

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Guest Column: Why Your Parakeet Won’t Eat Your Diarrhea

Guest Column: Why Your Parakeet Won’t Eat Your Diarrhea

  Hi. It’s me, your pet parakeet. It’s come to my attention that you’ve been trying to find out why I won’t eat your diarrhea:   I’m a parakeeet, so I’m not normally one to be bold.  But, seeing t…

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Guest Column: In Defense of Roman Polanski

Guest Column: In Defense of Roman Polanski

  Writer. Director. Holocaust Survivor. Child Rapist.   These are all titles that can be accurately bestowed upon one of my oldest and dearest friends, Roman Polanski, most notable for directing a number of incredible films, including Ros…

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Guest Column: Why I Fist Bumped the Dalai Lama

Guest Column: Why I Fist Bumped the Dalai Lama

  Hello, The Public!  It’s me, Mayor Myron Lowery!  Y’know, people have been giving me a hard time ever since I fist bumped the Dalai Lama a few days ago.  People are using big words, like "disrespectful", …

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Guest Column: Why NOT Create Anti-Gravity Mice?

Guest Column: Why NOT Create Anti-Gravity Mice?

  You may have heard that me and some of my scientist buddies have been messing around with some mice lately, making them float around in anti-gravity chambers for weeks on end.  A lot of people say things like, "Hey, Science Guys, h…

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Guest Column: Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table Speaks Out

Guest Column: Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table Speaks Out

    By now, a lot of you have seen the clip of Barney Frank’s dining room table comment at a recent town hall meeting (or what’s become known in the dining room table community simply as ‘the comment’).  Basica…

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Guest Column: from the Hispanic Janitor at Your Work

Guest Column: from the Hispanic Janitor at Your Work

    Hello, Mister. It is me, Juan, the guy who clean you office. Or as you like to call me, "that Mexican guy". I think it is time we have a talk. Just because I was born in Mexico, does not mean I do not speak English or unders…

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Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

  Hey dude!  It’s me, your penis!  We know each other pretty well, so let’s skip the cheezy introductions and get down to business: we need to talk.  You’ve been coming up short big time lately, and something&#…

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Guest Column: What Crazy Homeless Guy’s Deal Is

Guest-Column-What-Crazy-Homeless-Guys-Deal

  What’s up, you guys!  It’s me, the homeless guy who’s always screaming profanities in your neighborhood at 2am.  I’m the guy who causes you to lose a lot of sleep, call the police every now and then, and fee…

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