Guest Column – Holytaco

How Delonte West Hooked Up With Lebron’s Mom

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Ever since the world found out that I’ve been banging Lebron James’s mom, a lot of people have been asking me how one might go about hooking up with the mother of their own friend. Whenever I’m posed with that question, I u…

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Guest Column: Your Site Is Cool, I Guess

posted 01/21/2010
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(Holy Taco’s Facebook Fan Page recently surpassed the coveted 2,000 Fans benchmark. To celebrate this momentus occasion, we asked our 2,000th Facebook Fan to write a guest article explaining why he likes Holy Taco so much. This i…

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Guest Column: You Are All a Bunch of Buttholes

posted 12/16/2009
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Like most kids, my favorite time of year is Christmas time. I don’t understand why Thanksgiving is so great, and I can’t wait until it’s over because that means it’s almost time for Christmas. That’s the t…

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Guest Column: Why Your Parakeet Won’t Eat Your Diarrhea

posted 11/11/2009
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Hi. It’s me, your pet parakeet. It’s come to my attention that you’ve been trying to find out why I won’t eat your diarrhea: I’m a parakeeet, so I’m not normally one to be bold. But, seeing t…

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Guest Column: In Defense of Roman Polanski

posted 09/30/2009
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Writer. Director. Holocaust Survivor. Child Rapist. These are all titles that can be accurately bestowed upon one of my oldest and dearest friends, Roman Polanski, most notable for directing a number of incredible films, including Ros…

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Guest Column: Why I Fist Bumped the Dalai Lama

posted 09/24/2009
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Hello, The Public! It’s me, Mayor Myron Lowery! Y’know, people have been giving me a hard time ever since I fist bumped the Dalai Lama a few days ago. People are using big words, like "disrespectful", …

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Guest Column: Why NOT Create Anti-Gravity Mice?

posted 09/10/2009
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You may have heard that me and some of my scientist buddies have been messing around with some mice lately, making them float around in anti-gravity chambers for weeks on end. A lot of people say things like, "Hey, Science Guys, h…

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Guest Column: Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table Speaks Out

posted 08/20/2009
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By now, a lot of you have seen the clip of Barney Frank’s dining room table comment at a recent town hall meeting (or what’s become known in the dining room table community simply as ‘the comment’). Basica…

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Guest Column: from the Hispanic Janitor at Your Work

posted 08/04/2009
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Hello, Mister. It is me, Juan, the guy who clean you office. Or as you like to call me, "that Mexican guy". I think it is time we have a talk. Just because I was born in Mexico, does not mean I do not speak English or unders…

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Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

posted 07/28/2009
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Hey dude! It’s me, your penis! We know each other pretty well, so let’s skip the cheezy introductions and get down to business: we need to talk. You’ve been coming up short big time lately, and something&#…

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Guest Column: What Crazy Homeless Guy’s Deal Is

posted 07/08/2009
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What’s up, you guys! It’s me, the homeless guy who’s always screaming profanities in your neighborhood at 2am. I’m the guy who causes you to lose a lot of sleep, call the police every now and then, and fee…

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How Delonte West Hooked Up With Lebron’s Mom

Guest Column: Your Site Is Cool, I Guess

Guest Column: You Are All a Bunch of Buttholes

Guest Column: Why Your Parakeet Won’t Eat Your Diarrhea

Guest Column: In Defense of Roman Polanski

Guest Column: Why I Fist Bumped the Dalai Lama

Guest Column: Why NOT Create Anti-Gravity Mice?

Guest Column: Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table Speaks Out

Guest Column: from the Hispanic Janitor at Your Work

Guest Column: A Message From Your Penis

Guest Column: What Crazy Homeless Guy’s Deal Is

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