Free Dr. Pepper If Axl Gets Off His Ass

Apparently the executives at Dr. Pepper are big fans of pasty white rockers with a penchant for mid-life dreadlocks and seven-minute over-the-top rock ballads. In an effort to get W. Axl Rose to release the long awaited Chinese Democracy, they are offering everyone in America–except estranged guitarists Slash and Buckethead–a free can of Dr. Pepper if it comes out anytime in 2008. But to be fair, it’s very difficult to drink anything while there’s a bucket on your head.

In a rare instance of a large corporation having a little fun, a company spokesperson said:

We completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection–for something more than the perfect album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as “Dr. Pepper for the ears.”

So what’s it gonna be, Axl? Am I gonna get my free Dr. Pepper or do I need to show a little “Patience”? Get it? Jesus, that joke was worse than “The Spaghetti Incident?” (All you GNR officianados will notice my correct inclusion of the question mark at the end of the title of “The Spaghetti Incident?”)

Learn more at: chinesedemocracywhen.blogspot.com

(4)