Explore Holy Taco

How Aliens and Humans Deal with Less Advanced Beings

headeralien

I’m not saying aliens don’t exist, I’m just saying they’d be as blown away to discover us as we would be to discover them and we’d mutually agree to probe one anothers’ asses.

Read Full Article

The Oldest Dildo in the World: A Perspective

dildo1

It’s 28,000 years ago. Saber-toothed cats still exist. As do Neanderthals. Humanity is slowly establishing itself, art is being created, and tools. And in a cave, in what is present day Germany, someone stores their stone dildo. It’s about 8 in…

Read Full Article

Egg Nog Explained

WashingtonEggNog

It’s a classic holiday treat that nobody seems to be able to fully understand. You can make it yourself, or you can buy it at the store. You’ve probably been choking it down for the better part of your life, with no knowledge of what yo…

Read Full Article

Unknown Facts About Johnny Appleseed

JohnnyAppleseed

Today, September 26th is Johnny Appleseed day. Did you know that? Probably not. Did you also know that Johnny Appleseed planted all those seeds because a woman broke his heart? That’s the short explanation for why a man might spend his adult …

Read Full Article

World’s First Gay Caveman Discovered. Seriously.

World’s First Gay Caveman Discovered. Seriously.

The remains of a 5,000 year old man have been discovered and archaeologists believe that he may have been homosexual. Because he was buried like a woman.

Read Full Article

This Day In Made Up History: Eiffel Tower Completed To Spite Ex-Girlfriend

headerEiffel

Today in 1889, a dedication ceremony for the completion of France’s Eiffel Tower was held in Paris. People all over the world know the Eiffel tower, but what they don’t know is the story behind it.

Read Full Article

The Inner Monologue of the First European To Discover Oranges

The Inner Monologue of the First European To Discover Oranges

Oh man. Sun’s up. Another early day for ol’ Joseph of the Stinking Creek’s Bend. Still working on a new name. Guess I’ll milk my goat for a delicious glass of body temperature goat’s broth and then have some oats f…

Read Full Article

If John Lennon Had Lived: An Alternative Timeline

If John Lennon Had Lived: An Alternative Timeline

Last Saturday would have been John Lennon’s 70th birthday. Since he was shot and killed in 1980, his stature as a musician and counter-culture icon has only grown. While many musicians of his day have descended into nothing more than nostalgi…

Read Full Article

7 People Who Messed With Texas

7 People Who Messed With Texas

Of all the places not to mess with, Texas, we’re told, is at the top of the list. But in reality, this near universal recognition of Texas as a state above our meddling is misplaced. Turns out the “Don’t Mess with Texas” slo…

Read Full Article

The History of Porn Timeline

The History of Porn Timeline

The AVN’s (The Porn Awards) are happening in Las Vegas this weekend, and since we don’t get to go to them this year, we’ve decided to spend the entire weekend just thinking about porn instead. We’re hard workers, though, so n…

Read Full Article

Proof That George Lucas is an Unoriginal Hack

Proof-George-Lucas-Unoriginal-Hack