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How to Get ready for the 4th of July

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Tomorrow is the 4th of July and that means parties for America. This is a big deal because it’s a holiday everyone has off and it’s at the peak of summer’s awesomeness so there’s much outdoorsy fun to be had. Not sure what you need to get done in …

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How to Brand Your Band with a Cover Song

How to Brand Your Band with a Cover Song

 This is a guest article by Erica Cantin.  Rock on, kids! So you’re a little known band just trying to make your way in this crazy world. According to your alcoholic and slightly suicidal manager, the key to branding your bland and …

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How to Threaten a Coworker

How to Threaten a Coworker

We live in a bit of a soft-cornered age. An age of helmets and general pussification. Is that a bad thing? Maybe not, we have penicillin and strip clubs and other things that prevent slow, painful deaths so that ain’t bad. On the other ha…

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How To Advertize Your Product During the World Cup

How To Advertize Your Product During the World Cup

The World Cup started a few hours ago with its first game (match?), Mexico v. South Africa. Two goals were scored, and no one won. Now that’s excitement. But boring sports aside, the World Cup is a massive television event. One game (match?) …

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How to Fight Goblins

How to Fight Goblins

Hey, what’s the deal with goblins? I mean, really. Am I right? But seriously, enough merriment, let’s get down to brass tacks. Goblins are total assclowns, that’s a fact you can take to the bank. What kind of bank? The bank …

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How to Find Information On the Internet (Without Bothering Everyone Else)

How to Find Information On the Internet (Without Bothering Everyone Else)

  Hey, you.  Yeah, you, the person who insists on bothering your Facebook friends with status updates like "does anyone know what street the bus station is on?".  Yes, you.  The person who thinks firing off email queri…

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How To Make a McGriddle at Home

How To Make a McGriddle at Home

The McDonalds McGriddle is one of the most well-crafted pieces of synthetic food-like products ever created in a lab with the usage of Bunsen burners, beakers, and giant white boards with complex chemical compositions and long, mind boggling equati…

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How to Make Love to Christopher Walken

How to Make Love to Christopher Walken

  So you’ve decided to go all the way with popular character actor Christopher Walken, good for you. Pat yourself on the back for a fine choice. Of all the frightening, grizzled actors in Hollywood today (Lance Henrikson, Clint Eastwoo…

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How To Get Rid of a Hangover

How To Get Rid of a Hangover

It’s the Tuesday after Memorial Day Weekend, which means that half of us accidentally made out with our cousin yesterday, and all of us are suffering from a massive hangover. Luckily, there’s a solution:  

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How to Throw a Keg Party

How to Throw a Keg Party

How To: Fart In Public

How To: Fart In Public

Powerpoint Presentations are really boring.  They’re always about something super-lame, like "Quarterly Sales" or "Annual Net Profits".  We’d like to see some powerpoints about things that really matter, lik…

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How To: Win an Olympic Gold Medal in 2010

How To: Win an Olympic Gold Medal in 2010

You’d think that, with all the prestige surrounding the Winter Olympics, winning a gold medal would be super hard, but from what we’ve seen of the Winter Olympics so far, winning the top prize is actually pretty easy.  Here’s …

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