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How to Get ready for the 4th of July

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Tomorrow is the 4th of July and that means parties for America. This is a big deal because it’s a holiday everyone has off and it’s at the peak of summer’s awesomeness so there’s much outdoorsy fun to be had. Not sure what you need to get done in …

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Dead Baby Jokes are Timeless

Dead-Baby-Jokes-are-Timeless

How To: Pull Off an Internet Hoax

How To: Pull Off an Internet Hoax

Pulling off an internet hoax is a lot like being a stripper.  It can be a good way to make a lot of money, and it’s pretty easy, too.  All kinds of morons have pulled off successful hoaxes in the past, from those rednecks who shot bi…

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How To: Convince Your Girlfriend That The House Is Haunted

How To: Convince Your Girlfriend That The House Is Haunted

We got to go to a screening of Paranormal Activity recently, and it’s scary as hell (if it’s not playing in your area, you can go here and click the "Demand It" button to encourage distribution to your town).  The movie go…

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How To: Look Like You’re Working All Day, Even When You’re Not

How To: Look Like You’re Working All Day, Even When You’re Not

8 hours is a long-ass time to be doing work every day.  Luckily, there are about a million ways to look like you’re working when you’re actually not doing jack-shit.  Faking an entire day of work will take some real skill, and …

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How To: Make a Christian Horror Movie

How To: Make a Christian Horror Movie

Christian movies and Horror movies seem like they’re on opposite ends of the film spectrum, but we’d like to think that, with a little forward-thinking, we could make a pretty awesome Christian horror movie that could appeal to the blood…

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How To: Pretend You’re Listening to Your Girlfriend

How To: Pretend You’re Listening to Your Girlfriend

  It’s eight o’clock tonight, and you’ve got a computer, a television set, a cell phone, and a paused game of Skate 2, all grappling for your attention.  The last thing you feel like paying attention to is your girlfrie…

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How To: Deal with Your Landlord

How To: Deal with Your Landlord

We’ve all been in this predicament before:  Your landlord shows up demanding the rent money, and you don’t have it.  Of course, you can’t tell the landlord that.  You’re going to have to lie to him profusely.&n…

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You’ve Been Caught Cheating – How To Deal With It?

You’ve Been Caught Cheating – How To Deal With It?

 Relationships are difficult things to navigate through, and sometimes, for whatever reason, one person will cheat on the other.  In these instances, there’s really only one course of action.  Lying.  But, there are two dif…

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How To Order a Phonebook Hooker

How To Order a Phonebook Hooker

  As you may have noticed, Craigslist recently abolished their "Erotic Services" section. Don’t worry, though: the Sex-for-Money business will always persevere, even if it means that we have to revert back to the ancient way of…

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How To Survive in Prison

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a very special guest column by Johnny Wickham   As a person who got into a lot of trouble as a kid, nothing worries me more than what a normal, everyday person would have to do to survive prison. Prison seems kind of like church camp: You don&r…

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How to Cast Your G.I. Joe Re-creation of “Red Dawn”

How to Cast Your G.I. Joe Re-creation of “Red Dawn”

When I was a kid, I was completely obsessed with G.I. Joe action figures.   Eventually I started running out of fictional storylines, so I decided to re-enact some of my favorite movies of the time.  By far, the best movie to re-enact…

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