How-to – Holytaco

How to Be a Mall Santa

So you’ve decided to be society’s version of herpes, good for you! Now is the season when mall Santas are in higher demand than ever because early June mall Santas are usually serial killers who are actually volunteers more often than not. Many po…

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Today’s Prank: “I’m A Collector”

posted 10/24/2008
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Who doesn’t love a good prank? We here at the Taco love us a good prank. And we’ve pulled our fair share. So we decided, since it was a Saturday, we’d tell you one of our favorites we came up with a while back. It’s call…

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Pizza Store Robber Orders Beating Lovers Pizza

posted 07/13/2008
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Pizza Robbery Goes Wrong – Watch more free videos While most 17-year-old pizza store clerks are usually too high to remember that you wanted a half pepperoni, half mushroom pie, this pizza store clerk had no problem remembering to smash the fa…

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How To: Read A Bourbon Label

posted 04/17/2008
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Click to enlarge. Do you know the difference between blended or single barrel whiskey? Tennessee or Irish whiskey? Straight or gay whiskey (OK, gay whiskey is called cognac.) If you’re not sure what your bourbon label is saying, then check ou…

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How To: Call In Sick to Work

posted 04/01/2008
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Basically, work sucks. So here’s a step-by-step guide for calling in “sick. Use it when you’re too lazy to get up, hung-over, or would rather watch re-runs of Mr. Belvedere. 1) PICK THE DAY The ideal situation is when you know whi…

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How To: Buy An HD TV

posted 03/27/2008
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It seems like a no brainer: You walk into the electronics store at the mall, point at the biggest, flattest, cheapest set you see and plunk down your credit card. That’s fine…if you’re a total idiot. Having the wrong TV can be the…

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How To: Pour A Perfect Pint Of Guinness

posted 03/13/2008
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In case you’re stupid, it’s St. Patrick’s Day this Monday. So who better to tell you how to properly enjoy Ireland’s finest export than Fergal Murray, Brewmaster of Guinness. If you’ve never had one, a pint of Guinness…

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How To: Make The Perfect Martini

posted 03/06/2008
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Knowing how to make a proper martini should be mandatory for any man, woman and infant. So, we talked to Ethan Kelley of New York’s Brandy Library to get the low down on the world’s most classic cocktail. Get The Right Glasses Ethan: &#…

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How To: Get Laid In 40 Seconds

posted 02/28/2008
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Buy some rubbers and get some ointment for that rash. We’re gonna get you some sex,fast. 1. Always be ready If you’re going to get laid in less than a minute, you need to look like a guy who can get laid in less than a minute. So make…

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How To: Become a Scientologist

posted 02/19/2008
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Want to be cool like Kirstie Alley, Jenna Elfman and the rest of Hollywood’s A-list? Here’s your blueprint. 1. Take a free personality test Called the Oxford Capacity Analysis and administered by two Scientology volunteers, this will h…

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How To: Make A Super Bowl Commercial

posted 02/05/2008
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How To Make a Super Bowl Commercial – Watch more free videos If you’ve ever wondered what are the ingredients for a Super Bowl commercial, wonder no further. Pay close attention to Balky Bartakomous. He’s a national treasure.

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How To: Make a Fake ID

posted 01/23/2008
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Just can’t wait to start a life of debilitating alcohol addiction? Let us show you the way, grasshopper. 1. Pick A State Certain state IDs are easier to fake than others, so your adventure begins with figuring which ones are best, going onlin…

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How to Be a Mall Santa

Today’s Prank: “I’m A Collector”

Pizza Store Robber Orders Beating Lovers Pizza

How To: Read A Bourbon Label

How To: Call In Sick to Work

How To: Buy An HD TV

How To: Pour A Perfect Pint Of Guinness

How To: Make The Perfect Martini

How To: Get Laid In 40 Seconds

How To: Become a Scientologist

How To: Make A Super Bowl Commercial

How To: Make a Fake ID

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