Steve Jobs Sues Makers of iGina

The iPhone is great for email, texting and searching the Internet, but it’s lacking one vital piece of technology: the pocket vagina. According to the AP:

Van Nuys, California – The newest Apple knockoff has taken the computer giant’s technology into a more risque industrial sector. “The iGina: the next generation in cellular technology,” due for release later this year claims to combine all the features of an iPhone with one minor addition: a pocket vagina.

“The iGina is literally five years ahead of any other pocket pussy on the market,” said FleshTouch Industries CEO Robert Small.

“No other product out there allows you to play music, access e-mail, check weather, all while sliding your penis in and out of a soft, four inch shaft of self lubricated, skin-like tissue.”

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple and creator of the iPhone, has responded by filing a lawsuit against FleshTouch industries for patent infringement and defamation. “It’s our design and technology exactly, they’ve just added a synthetic vagina on the front of it,” said Jobs from his office in Cupertino.

Small disagrees. “Of course he’d say that. That’s because he didn’t think of it. We designed the PeniTouch, not him.” Small is referring to the feature on the iGina that allows users to navigate the interface of the phone through in and out thrusts of the users erect penis.

If I had a nickel for every time I cursed my iPhone for not having a vagina-like hole for me to have sex with I would have enough nickels to buy an iGina…or possibly even a real vagina.

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