There are a lot of times when I just want to get something to eat, but before I order a hamburger I often ask myself, “Am I a prostitute?” Well, thankfully this Chinese restaurant has provided a helpful security staff to answer my question. Why can’t my local Applebee’s take a page out of China’s book and kindly tell me if I will have sex with strangers for money?
Other crap to look at:
Gisele takes off her top for GQ (Cameltap)
Even cats like to drink (doubleviking)
This video sucks (drunkenstepfather)
Nikki Sanderson doesn’t like clothes (hornyoyster)
Robert Downey Jr has a golden turd (best week ever)
Should you floss with bacon? Yes. (tastybooze)
This isn’t going to end well (weakgame)
At first I was all like “Whoa, huh? What happened?” and then, after seeing it 50 times and hearing some guy say “Lok me la sumjuna dwite!” 30 times I was all like “Ooooh, a dunk.” Way to go, Japanese guy!
If you think people in Japan are spending all their time screwing each other, well, you’re wrong. According to fleshbot.com:
One-quarter of married couples in Japan have had no sex in the past year, a survey showed.
Sex is particularly elusive as people grow older, with the study finding that 37.3 percent of Japanese married couples in their 50s were not having sex.
There was no comparable data for other countries but earlier surveys by condom manufacturer Durex has put Japan among the world’s least sexually active nations.
After doing a little research, I came up with a few reasons why the Japanese folk aren’t getting it on as much as they should:
1. Sex is on the list of things that dishonors your ancestors and brings shame upon your family. Also on that list: not getting into Harvard, losing your job, and giving birth to a daughter.
2. White American businessmen’s “Asian fetish” and the sex tourism industry leave no Asian women for Asian men.
3. Seeing your wife in a bukkakke video kinda kills the mood.
4. While American men use their knowledge of baseball to prolong sexual intercourse, Asian men use their knowledge of baseball to make sure no one wants to have sex with them.
5. Many Asian women fear the fabled myth known as Godzilla Penis..
When you go to a website called WeirdAsianNews.com, you’re just asking for it. So, from WeirdAsianNews.com:
Serena Kozakura, 38 years old, was charged and found guilty of breaking into a man’s apartment by kicking in a hole in his door and crawling through because he was with another woman.
The bikini model was cleared of all charges after the defense council help up a plate showing the size of the hole that Serena was accused of kicking in. It was clear that the hole in the door was not large enough for the 44-inch bust model to squeeze through.
“I used to hate my body so much, but it was my breasts that won in court”, Serena said.
Judge Kunio Harad of the Tokyo High Court threw out the guilty verdict, saying there was reasonable doubt over the man’s story.
I think we can all sleep a little better knowing that justice was done in Japan. Thanks to Ashley for the tip.
A few months ago, Japan’s McDonald’s started offering something called a Mega Mac, which is a Big Mac with 4 all-beef patties instead of America’s crappy little two. This new menu item prompted some guy named Takeshi Fukuda to wonder how far this new trend in Big Macs would go.
Debate season is in full swing, so we thought it would be a good time to take a look back at some of the most notable blunders in presidential debate history.
(9)
