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American Douchebaggery Knows No Boundaries

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I’m really, really proud of America right now. Not because we’re in the midst of an intense election year that will force our political leaders to step up to the plate, earn their votes and fix the mess that’s been made, but becau…

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The Morning Jolt: Irish Jersey Shore

The Morning Jolt:  Irish Jersey Shore

It’s Irish Jersey Shore. Dead serious.

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Jersey Shore Italy: The Italian Nightmare Continues

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Jersey Shore: Italy is here to ruin an entire nation. Italy has put a lot of time and effort into creating and sustaining its present day image as a land of hot women, awesome food and Ginos. And it wasn’t easy to get here, they had to slog a lot …

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“The Jersey Shore” Now Has An Equally Annoying British Counterpart

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Just when you thought the fourth horsemen of the apocalypse that is “Jersey Shore” was only limited to America, BAM! MTV throws a British version in your face! It’s called “Geordie Shore” and it is a direct copy, arch…

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Build Your Own Jersey Shore Character

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Jersey Shore sure is popular, despite logic dictating it’s lame as shit and glorifies borderline, intentional retardation. Now that the gang of non-Italians is off to Italy for reasons best left pondered by people who know what paint chips taste li…

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Hey MTV, We Got Your Jersey Shore Spinoffs Right Here!

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Great news for those of you who were hoping to see more of the Jersey Shore cast members on television! (I’m addressing you here because there’s no way I’d speak to you in real life.) MTV has green lit spinoffs for Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Paul “DJ…

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The Future of Douchebag Transportation

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Brace yourselves, people who realize the world is full of other people and resources aren’t infinite, a flying Hummer is in the works! Before you know it, our airspace is going to smell like axe body spray and coconut oil. I can only hope tha…

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The Marketing Meeting To Decided How To Package The Guidette Love Doll

The Marketing Meeting To Decided How To Package The Guidette Love Doll

Charles: Alright, so, the next item on the list is the Guidette Love Doll. Now, we have the box art squared away: a girl that, even though she looks like a whore, looks significantly less whore-ish than Snooki, which I think is a compliment, and a …

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11 Unironic Spokespeople

11 Unironic Spokespeople

  The Heart Attack Grill is a restaurant that is happy to let you know it wants you dead. Their speciality is the Quadruple Bypass burger, made of 4 1/2lb patties, 8 slices of cheese and lard-coated buns.  It clocks in at 8,000 calories, …

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12 Shocking Revelations from Snooki’s Upcoming Novel

12 Shocking Revelations from Snooki’s Upcoming Novel

Snooki, from MTV’s "Jersey Shore," is writing a novel loosely based on her own life. So says MTV.com. I’ll spare you the obvious jokes (she knows how to write?, I want to beat her to death with a ball peen hammer!, etc., etc.)…

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Drunken Argument Friday: Jersey Shore vs The Real Housewives

Drunken Argument Friday: Jersey Shore vs The Real Housewives

With Jersey Shore just starting its second or third season (we don’t care), and The Real Housewives of Who Gives A Rat’s Ass probably being aired ad nauseum on Bravo as we speak, we think it’s about time to pit these two reality T…

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