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I Banged Jessica Simpson and You Didn’t

I Banged Jessica Simpson and You Didn’t

By Tony Romo There’s no denying it; the Dallas Cowboys suck. We’re one and four. That’s only a game ahead of the Buffalo Bills, for crying out loud. And since I’m the quarterback, that means I suck. How can I look you in the…

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How to Make Out With Jessica Simpson

How to Make Out With Jessica Simpson

So, you’ve decided you want to get squishy with one of history’s most exceptional thinkers, nothing wrong with that. For years, Jessica Simpson has proved she has the ability to breathe and maintain most other autonomic functions with …

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Jessica Simpson Wants You To Buy Stuff

Jessica Simpson Wants You To Buy Stuff

At first I thought the ad above was an ironic joke. Like when they call fat guys “Tiny” or Jim Belushi “talented.” But they seriously have an ad asking you to “Be Smart” with a picture of Jessica Simpson above…

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Romo and Simpson Do Nasty Nerd Style

Romo and Simpson Do Nasty Nerd Style

Here’s a question: What do thirteen year old boys and Tony Romo have in common? If you answered “they both jack off to Jessica Simpson on their computer,” you’d be right. I also would have accepted “They both have ne…

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Even Country Music Thinks Jessica Simpson Sucks

Even Country Music Thinks Jessica Simpson Sucks

Once when I was in college, my 37 year old cousin who’s fiancee had just left him, talked me into letting him come with me to a party my 18 year old neighbors were throwing.  About 3 minutes in he jumped into a conversation a group of peop…

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Jessica Simpson and Pam Anderson No Likey

Jessica Simpson and Pam Anderson No Likey

Above is Pizza Hut spokesman Jessica Simpson and her boyfriend, former Eastern Illinois quarterback Anthony Romo. So, apparently her t-shirt pissed off Pamela Anderson, who is big into animal protection and such, who said this on the radio: Speaki…

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Stifler Did Naked Stuff With Jessica Simpson

Stifler Did Naked Stuff With Jessica Simpson

Wow, it’s a big news day for people who aren’t in the news. Apparently jealous of Corey Haim getting his name back in the headlines, Seann William Scott (you know him as American Pie’s Stifler, or the “Not Ashton Kutcher guy…

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Jessica Simpson’s Dad Tries To Sell Her Engagement

Jessica Simpson’s Dad Tries To Sell Her Engagement

It’s usually a mistake when you let your parents or relatives get involved in your money making ventures.  When I was twelve I had a lawn cutting business and my dad decided to come with me when I went door to door asking people if they neede…

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Jessica Simpson Checks Lady Humps For Lumps

Jessica Simpson Checks Lady Humps For Lumps

While every month is National Breast Awareness month, May is National Breast Cancer Awareness month, so it’s good to see Jessica Simpson give her teetons a nice, thorough inspection. You can’t be too young to check your heaving set of t…

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Tony Romo Parties At Hooters

Tony Romo Parties At Hooters

I once ate quesadillas and this weird chicken that came in a can, every day for three weeks in college because I was broke.  Then I sold my textbooks back and went directly to an Outback Steakhouse and ordered some kind of beef item for every cours…

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Tony Romo Can Sing Better Than Jessica Simpson

Tony Romo Can Sing Better Than Jessica Simpson

While he’s no

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