jim tews – Holytaco

Help Jim Tews for the Love of God!

Hey everyone, remember Jim Tews? He used to write for Holy Taco until our secretary took out a restraining order against him and he wasn’t allowed within 1000 yards of the building. 1000? That’s a lot, Jim! Your ether-soaked rag will…

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Church Camp Sound Lame? How About Atheist Camp!

posted 07/29/2011
by Jim Tews

No matter how into Jesus you are at age thirteen, you’re probably way more into things like the opposite sex and having a great summer. So going to sleep away camp sounds like a dream come true. But if it’s Church camp, Jesus is going t…

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Why’d You Bail Out On Our Flashmob?!

posted 07/15/2011
by Jim Tews

Hey “Friends” So let me start by saying, you all really put me in an awkward spot yesterday. I don’t want to get accusatory, because I haven’t heard from any of you since then, and I’m sure you have a valid excuse, but…

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Your Toe Shoes Are Making Me Uncomfortable

posted 06/22/2011
by Jim Tews

I appreciate the fact that you’re trying to be fashion-forward, and you’re being open minded about the type of footwear you choose, but those toe shoe things you’ve been wearing are weirding me the hell out. Yes, I realize, the ty…

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Holy Taco’s Video of the Day

posted 06/17/2011
by Ian Fortey

Holy Taco contributing editor Jim Tews tricks people into giving him beer in exchange for his stand up comedy routine, then proceeds to talk about that time he tried to screw us on a futon

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Crazy Chicks 101: An Introductory Course In Unstable Women

posted 06/10/2011
by Jim Tews

There’s been a video floating around the web of a young woman purporting to be a first-time eHarmony user. In it, she confesses her intense, unhealthy love of cats in such a way that sends up so many dating red flags, that it’s almost t…

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Male Birth Control Methods And Why Men Can’t Be Counted On To Make Them Work

posted 06/08/2011
by Jim Tews

So the Holy Grail unicorn Sasquatch that is men’s birth control has been spotted again. It’s not a pill or a device that can fall off or get lost, it’s actually an injection that kills the sperm while it’s en route from the …

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Holy Taco’s Take On The U.S. Government’s New Dietary Guide

posted 06/03/2011
by Jim Tews

For those of you who weren’t aware, the government has done away with the beloved food pyramid, and replaced it with a more simple visual guide for balancing your diet. It’s all for the sake of lowering obesity rates and making room for…

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Wait, What Happened? – May 30th, 2011

posted 05/30/2011
by Jim Tews

Happy Memorial Day, Americans. Happy Monday to the rest of you. While many of you have the day off, our international staff of comedy writers was working hard to make sure you got what you came for — barely researched news stories with some …

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A Letter To My High School Guidance Counselor

posted 05/18/2011
by Jim Tews

Dear Mrs. Sewards, I hope this letter finds you well, It’s been over ten years since we last spoke. I’m writing you because I assume you find some satisfaction in hearing about the success of your former students. To say that I’m …

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Help Jim Tews for the Love of God!

Church Camp Sound Lame? How About Atheist Camp!

Why’d You Bail Out On Our Flashmob?!

Your Toe Shoes Are Making Me Uncomfortable

Holy Taco’s Video of the Day

Crazy Chicks 101: An Introductory Course In Unstable Women

Male Birth Control Methods And Why Men Can’t Be Counted On To Make Them Work

Holy Taco’s Take On The U.S. Government’s New Dietary Guide

Wait, What Happened? – May 30th, 2011

A Letter To My High School Guidance Counselor

Photo of the Day

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