Kady Malloy Wins American Idol! (Probably)

Holy Taco has seen the future and it’s full of boodthirsty robots and babies wielding rocket launchers. There’s a lot screaming and crying and tears. It’s pretty bad, now that I think about it. BUT! There is one silver lining. This girl Kady Malloy is probably going to win American Idol because she’s smoking hot, she’s really good looking, she has a great body and she can maybe sing (I wasn’t really listening to that part.) And once she wins, there will be way more of her on your TV screen. To take your mind off the robots, check out more of her at Chickipedia.com.

Sadly, American Idol wasn’t all Kady Malloys. There was also this guy named Bruce. He’s 19 and he’s never kissed a girl because he made a promise to his dad that he would save himself until his wedding day. To prove it, he has a necklace that has a key and HIS DAD has another necklace with a heart. When Bruce finds the girl (or guy?) he feels is the one, his dad will give the heart necklace to the girl (or guys?). Why is a father holding a heart necklace for his 19-year-old son? Well, I think it’s because he’s gay for his son. But who am I to judge? See for yourself:

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