Leo DiCaprio Has A Good Life

Um, I’m not even going to oral sex guess what’s oral sex happening in that oral sex picture on the right.

popsugar.com reports:

Leonard DiCaprio must be voting absentee, because right now he’s living the good life with his hot girlfriend Bar Refaeli down in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

I wonder if right after the Super Bowl ended, his assistant dumped a bucket of Gatorade on him and some dude with a camera ran up to Leo and was like “Leo, the guy who bangs your ex-girlfriend just lost the Super Bowl! What are you gonna do?!” and Leo’s like “I’m going to Puerto Vallarta!”

It looks like while Leo was mostly enamored by his girl’s assets, he also made sure to keep up to date on his BlackBerry and document his vacation on his digital camera.

You can’t see it in the picture on the above left, but I’m actually there, behind him, snapping off a picture of what he’s looking at in his camera.

Celebrities are just like us.

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Tom Brady Runs Up Score On DiCaprio

People.com reports

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady braved the freezing temperatures of New York City to party at hotspot Butter Monday night.  Just one problem:  Her ex-boyfriend, Leonardo DiCaprio, was sitting just two tables away.

The old flames did not interact, with Gisele cuddling up to Brady in a corner banquette while DiCaprio spent most of the night messaging on his PDA.  As the night wound down, Buncdchen and Brady left hand-in-hand - and DiCaprio didn’t even look up.

In related news, somewhere outside of Hoboken, Eli Manning went to a Denny’s with Camryn Manheim and ran into an assistant manager he used to date.

Seriously though, put up a fight DiCaprio, Jesus.  You can’t just go into “Overweight Sorority Girl” mode and start pretending to text message people just cause you’ve been out-penised.  You gotta go onto that dance floor, find the sluttiest woman available, start dirty dancing with her, then “accidentally” get near Tom and Gisele’s table.  Then start doing one of those sloppy revenge makeouts, where you’re licking the girls face while you stare out of the corner of your eye at your ex.  Then when Gisele makes eye contact with you, be like “oh, I didn’t even know you guys were here.  Let me buy you a round.  I gotta take off now because this random woman is going to fellate me while I watch a recording of last years AFC championship game where the colts kicked the shit ouf of you guys.  Then pat Brady on the back and go “No offense, Tom,” as you laugh heartily.

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