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Goodbye Boring World!: My Goodbye Letter To The World I Will Not See Again After Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Comes Out

Skyrim

Dear Everyone I Know, Love, Cherish, And Even Despise, Up To And Including Various Forms Of Wildlife, Plant Life, Microscopic Beings, And The Warm Glow Of The Sun I’m going to miss all of you once the clock strikes midnight tonight, and then strike…

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Adolf Hitler’s Day Off

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Even the greatest evil the world has ever seen needs a few days to relax, unwind, let his hair down, and contemplate his next move. Such is the situation Adolf Hitler found himself in March of 1932 when he wrote a letter requesting that he be grant…

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“I’m Going To Eat Your Face”: A Letter To My Chocolate Easter Bunny

creepyeyes

It’s seems as though it’s that special time of the year again, my darling. It’s that time of year that I unwrap you from your foil-y confines and consumes you. It’s a time of great joy for many, as they celebrate the resurrection of their lord and …

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President Mubarak’s Letter of Resignation

hosni mubarak

Citizens of Egypt, It is with a heavy heart that I say that I will be resigning as president of this fine country. I have spent many, many years of my life crafting this country in to the powerhouse of free, democratic thought that it is today, but…

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A Recession Era Letter To Santa

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With Christmas just around the corner we tend to forget that there are people in this world, even in our own cities, that are less fortunate than us. The economy has been rough for the past few years and people are trying to find new ways to live w…

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A Series of Letters From Tommy Lee On The Subject Of Whale Masturbation

A Series of Letters From Tommy Lee On The Subject Of Whale Masturbation

Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee wrote a letter to SeaWorld on the subject of the bizarre whale breeding practices. Today, this letter was released to the world. While most news sites can claim to show you this letter, only Holy Taco will show you thi…

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A Letter To The 62-Year-Old Grandmother Who Had 200 Sexual Flings In The Past 2 Years

A Letter To The 62-Year-Old Grandmother Who Had 200 Sexual Flings In The Past 2 Years

Why, hello, there, 62-Year-Old Grandmother That Had 200 Sexual Flings In The past 2 Years. How are you on this fine day? Sore, I assume – sore from all of the sweet, sweet sexual satisfaction you’ve been given by the 30 and 40 years old…

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An Open Letter to the Users of the Mall Restroom

An Open Letter to the Users of the Mall Restroom

Dear Filth Peddlers, I want to thank you for all the work you guys have been doing, fellow washroom users and the remarkable custodial staff here at Oakview Mall. You guys are stupendous. I mean, I can finger paint with blood and stool if I need …

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A Letter To My Future Son

A Letter To My Future Son

  Hello, Son. Gosh, it feels good to say that. SON. Wow, it just feels so…warm, I guess. Anyway, I just want to start off by saying that I love you. Even though I may not be around to raise you, teach you life lessons, guide you through…

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Holy Taco Receives a Cease and Desist Order

Holy Taco Receives a Cease and Desist Order

    Fans of Sunday Comics rejoice, we’ve been served! Turns out Tribune Media, which distributes the comic created by Harry Bliss, doesn’t think our rampantly offensive comics are funny and has had a lawyer contact us on the …

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A Letter To The Kid In Halo Multiplayer That Keeps Calling Me A Fag

A Letter To The Kid In Halo Multiplayer That Keeps Calling Me A Fag

  Hello, Kid In Halo Multiplayer That Keeps Calling Me A Fag I can see that you are very excited to have gotten your hands on Halo: Reach. It is a very fun game, especially when it’s played with friends. And, oh, hey, that reminds me, rem…

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