love – Holytaco

Valentine’s Day Q&A With Yahoo! Answers

Today is the day you’re supposed to tell your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife, how much you like them, hoping desperately they take the hint and willingly put your genitals in their mouth; maybe even in other holes, if you play your cards r…

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Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Has Made Me Want To Grow Up, Settle Down, And Get Married

posted 11/14/2011
by Luis Prada

Last week, I wrote about how I was saying my goodbyes to my loved ones and getting my affairs in order, as I was about to embark on an epic journey through a newly released video game called Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Today, as a bit of a follow-up, …

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How a Kardashian Understands Love

posted 11/02/2011
by Ian Fortey

This week’s big news for people who can’t stomach news that affects real people in any appreciable way is the divorce of Kim Kardashian from her man-Kardashian. After a rollercoaster 72 days and several million dollars worth of passion, it is to b…

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Muammar Gaddafi’s Love Letter to Condoleezza Rice

posted 08/25/2011
by Ian Fortey

Dearest Condoleezza, Today is a great day in the history of mankind. Today will be written of in the books of historians wherever they roam and it will be spoken of in the streets and homes and wherever people gather to be in awe of great t…

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Experiencing Love, Sex, and Parenthood Through Creepy Japanese Robots

posted 07/01/2011
by Luis Prada

It seems every week another video is released featuring a far-too-realistic robot that was created, presumably, by a person that hates real humans so much that he or she has taken to creating their own robo-army of soulless, dead-eyed friends. Sur…

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The Marketing Meeting To Decided How To Package The Guidette Love Doll

posted 11/29/2010
by

Charles: Alright, so, the next item on the list is the Guidette Love Doll. Now, we have the box art squared away: a girl that, even though she looks like a whore, looks significantly less whore-ish than Snooki, which I think is a compliment, and a …

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A Letter To The 62-Year-Old Grandmother Who Had 200 Sexual Flings In The Past 2 Years

posted 11/08/2010
by

Why, hello, there, 62-Year-Old Grandmother That Had 200 Sexual Flings In The past 2 Years. How are you on this fine day? Sore, I assume – sore from all of the sweet, sweet sexual satisfaction you’ve been given by the 30 and 40 years old…

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Inner Monologue of a Guy on a Blind Date

posted 02/15/2010
by

Shit. I’m early. I showed up early for a blind f*cking date. Is that good or bad? I really have no idea what the etiquette is for this type of thing. Should I go in? I shouldn’t go in. Maybe I should. I dunno. Joh…

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A Flowchart to Determine How Your Valentine’s Day Will End

posted 02/11/2010
by ywang

Flowchart-Determine-How-Your-Valentines-Day-Will-End

For many people, Valentine’s Day is the most confusing day of the year. We stress about what gifts to buy and how much money to spend, because we know that if we screw anything up, there’s a chance that we might not have sex that n…

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What Her Valentine’s Day Gift Really Says

posted 02/08/2010
by

Valentine’s Day is this Sunday, which means that this week you’ll be on a quest for a gift that will get you laid without implying too much. The Valentine’s Day gift that you give your girlfriend says a lot about your relatio…

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First Date Bingo

posted 01/29/2010
by

First dates can be as awkward as seeing your grandma in a mini skirt taking a huge sloppy dump. Fortunately, we’ve created this First Date Bingo Card to help you pass the time:

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Valentine’s Day Q&A With Yahoo! Answers

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Has Made Me Want To Grow Up, Settle Down, And Get Married

How a Kardashian Understands Love

Muammar Gaddafi’s Love Letter to Condoleezza Rice

Experiencing Love, Sex, and Parenthood Through Creepy Japanese Robots

The Marketing Meeting To Decided How To Package The Guidette Love Doll

A Letter To The 62-Year-Old Grandmother Who Had 200 Sexual Flings In The Past 2 Years

Inner Monologue of a Guy on a Blind Date

A Flowchart to Determine How Your Valentine’s Day Will End

What Her Valentine’s Day Gift Really Says

First Date Bingo

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