mariah carey – Holytaco

Prepare to be Hypnotized

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This is Pedro. He’s got a bunch of videos on youtube. Forget for a moment that he’s singing along to a Mariah Carey song (he only sings along to Mariah Carey songs), and try to also forget that he doesn’t know a…

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Mariah Carey Throws Like A Girl. Or A Retarded Boy.

posted 05/28/2008
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Mariah Carey First Pitch – Watch more free videos I’ve seen some pretty bad pitches in my time (Jose Lima’s comes to mind), but Mariah Carey really proves that she can not, in an way, throw a baseball. Perhaps her 4-inch stilettos …

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Mariah Carey Has Doody Guards

posted 05/14/2008
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There’s two things I fear in life; this old neighbor I used to have that told me on two different occassions that sometimes he “wished he could just wear my face,” and people screwing with me while I’m taking a crap. Mariah…

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Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon Get Married

posted 04/30/2008
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I used to have this really nice golden retriever, and then it got old and blind and starting shitting while it walked and running into stuff. Then one day I came home and my mom had taken it to get a bath and a hair cut and she was like “See…

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Mariah Carey Wants To Be Stephen Hawking

posted 01/03/2008
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Mariah Carey doesn’t like to talk when she’s on vocal rest. So, being the brain-genius that she is, she’s hatched a plan to use the famed physicist’s voice machine to make sure all her important messages get across. Accordin…

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