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The Saddest Email of All Time

email_fright

Every day I get dozens of emails that end up in my junk folder because they suck so much, mindless technology even understands how little I want to read them. Once or twice a week I will scan my junk mail, just in case something slipped through the…

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Mario Lopez Vows To Wear Shirts

Mario Lopez Vows To Wear Shirts

The other day I decided to clean out my fridge and as I was throwing away stuff I came across one of those DVD’s that you put into your DVD player to clean it. I have absolutely no f-ing idea how that got into my fridge, or why it was there,…

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Audrina Patridge To World: PLEASE Look At Me

Audrina Patridge To World: PLEASE Look At Me

Let me first start off by saying I understand that TV Guide can in no way be considered a serious magazine. That would be like considering this blog as “Journalism” or considering the San Diego Padres as a “Major League Baseball…

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8 Truthful Celebrity Autobiography Covers

8 Truthful Celebrity Autobiography Covers

Famous people are always writing autobiographies that aren’t really honest. So here are the covers for 9 celebrity biographies that we think are a little more truthful. 8. Stedman Graham 7. Mario Lopez

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Mario Lopez Only Cheats On Mario Lopez With Mario Lopez

Mario Lopez Only Cheats On Mario Lopez With Mario Lopez

Mario Lopez must have the most amazing Publicist and agent in the entire world, because last I checked, he has absolutely no talent, has been in exactly zero shows that have any sort of redeeming value, and yet, every where you go, you see him. It…

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Mario Lopez Describes His Perfect Girl

Mario Lopez Describes His Perfect Girl

I remember watching Saved By The Bell and thinking two things: Lark Voorhies was going to be a huge star, and Zach Morris will bang more chicks than A.C. Slater.  I’m haunted to this day by both predictions.  If you want to know how many chic…

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Mario Lopez’s Girlfriend Puts The “Man” In “Woman”

Mario Lopez’s Girlfriend Puts The “Man” In “Woman”

Isn’t Mario Lopez supposed to be some hunky dude who all the ladies go ga-ga over? If that’s the case, then why is he dating Karina Smirnoff, a Russian professional dancer who looks more masculine than Mr. Belding’s balls. What…

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