marriage – Holytaco

25 Crazy Theme Weddings

A normal wedding is for suckers and people who already have the divorce papers in their luggage. Theme weddings are what keeps you together for at least 6 months.

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Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Has Made Me Want To Grow Up, Settle Down, And Get Married

posted 11/14/2011
by Luis Prada

Last week, I wrote about how I was saying my goodbyes to my loved ones and getting my affairs in order, as I was about to embark on an epic journey through a newly released video game called Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Today, as a bit of a follow-up, …

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Carl’s Jr. Shrunk Your Pants, Not Me

posted 09/20/2010
by

First of all, I’m sorry I forgot to take your pants out of the laundry before I put them in the dryer. It seems like a simple mistake to me, but you seem to disagree. Never mind the fact that I remembered to take out all your bras, tee-shirts…

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An Exclusive Look at the Rush Limbaugh Wedding Program

posted 06/08/2010
by

Inexplicably, Rush Limbaugh was married this past weekend. To a woman! As card carrying members of the liberal media elite, we were of course banned from attending the ceremony. But we did have a guy on the inside who managed to sn…

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Inner Monologue of a Drunk Guy at a Wedding

posted 03/01/2010
by

(4:10pm) I f*ckin’ hate weddings. Why do people feel the need to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a fancy party just so that everyone knows they’re in love? Shouldn’t we have gotten the point when you dated each other…

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Flowchart for Determining if You Should Get a Divorce

posted 08/17/2009
by ywang

Being married is a lot like watching a Twin Peaks marathon: it’s very confusing, there’s a constant sense of impending doom, and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get through it. There are a few key factor…

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Marriage: Before And After

posted 05/11/2009
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How To Score With A Bridesmaid At A Wedding

posted 05/05/2009
by

This past weekend, I played the part of Best Man at my brother’s wedding. It’s pretty well-known that weddings are a fantastic place to pick up chicks, and of all the girls that you’ll find at a wedding, the bridesmaids are e…

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Forgetting You’re Married Is Easier Than You Think

posted 06/25/2008
by

Guys tend to forget a lot of things. Sometimes we forget to take out the trash, sometimes we forget to wipe (don’t pretend like you’ve never forgotten that one), and sometimes we even forget about that time we got married on a drunken b…

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Scarlett Johansson To Marry Ryan Reynolds

posted 05/04/2008
by

My mom always said to me “Before you decide to get married , make sure your heart is filled with the utmost love and respect for the person you’re marrying. Unless that person has really big perky titties but still manages a thin figur…

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25 Crazy Theme Weddings

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Has Made Me Want To Grow Up, Settle Down, And Get Married

Carl’s Jr. Shrunk Your Pants, Not Me

An Exclusive Look at the Rush Limbaugh Wedding Program

Inner Monologue of a Drunk Guy at a Wedding

Flowchart for Determining if You Should Get a Divorce

Marriage: Before And After

How To Score With A Bridesmaid At A Wedding

Forgetting You’re Married Is Easier Than You Think

Scarlett Johansson To Marry Ryan Reynolds

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