Heidi Montag Makes Music Video

So, this is the music video for the single off Heidi Montag’s new album. The song is called “Higher.” To watch this video and call it shitty, would be like watching someone eat a baby then tell them they were being “uncool.” Popsugar.com reports:

Apparently Spencer Pratt [Heidi’s boyfriend] directed the video himself.

Really? Because I could have sworn someone super glued a camera to the head of a Golden Retriever and then rubbed carne asada all over Heidi’s ass. It felt like I was watching the start of a really crappy porno. I kept waiting for a lifeguard to walk over to her and tells her “beach is closed” and for her to respond with “but my legs are open,” and then nasty-ass sex commencing. This is just shameful. Spencer Pratt is like Martin Scorcese if his brain was filled with Diarrhea.

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