Creepy or Sexy? The Olsen Twins

Remember when the Olsen Twins were getting ready to turn 18? There was chaos in the streets, men were visibly weeping and Jesus himself was shitting his pants. But now, when I look at them I sometimes see either Gollum or one of those troll dolls with the crazy hair. So which one is it? Are they the sexy sirens that caused the son of God to drop a load on himself or are they just weird looking gremlin girls who happen to be worth billions of dollars? (I know it’s common knowledge that one of them is hotter than the other, but to me they’re one big mashup of clown clothes, eyeliner and future suicides.)

Before you submit one of those “you would totally have sex with them” comments, let me save you some time. Of course I would have sex with them. I’m a man. I would have sex with a lawn chair if I could find the right lube. The question is whether they’re creepy or not.

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It’s Official: Everyone Hates the Olsen Twins

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are now under fire from PETA.

Usmagazine.com reports:

In a new ad campaign to be unveiled today at the Olsens’ Walk of Fame star on Hollywood Boulevard, PETA blasts the 21-year-old star sibs - whom they dub the “Trollsen Twins” - for wearing fur.”

Wait wait wait. The Olsen twins have a star on the walk of fame?! If they get a star then I DEMAND that the shit I took in college that looked just like Cobra Commander, get a star as well. I guarantee it entertained more people until it sadly had to be flushed.

To coincide with the ad, PETA has also launched a new web site devoted to “Hairy-Kate” and “Trashley.”

That’s a writers meeting I’d like to sit in on. “Berry Kate…Maybe Scary Kate…..wait, guys, holy crap, I got it. Hairy-Kate!” “That’s why you’re the head of this non-profit animal protection agency, Steve. Well done.”

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