Famous people are always writing autobiographies that aren’t really honest. So here are the covers for 9 celebrity biographies that we think are a little more truthful.
8. Stedman Graham
7. Mario Lopez
Much like the video game Duck Hunt, being crazy has many, many levels. I’m not sure exactly what level of crazy Britney Spears and Mel Gibson land on, but I’d venture to say the Duck Hunt equivalent is the level where the birds fly around like someone set their asshole on fire…and then shave their heads and call you a dirty jew. And now, these two may be going on vacation with each other. Popsugar reports:
Britney Spears has been working hard lately, so it’s no big deal that the pop star could use a little vacation. Here’s the twist — according to ET she’s on her way to Costa Rica right now with Mel Gibson!
First of all, I’ve seen the movie Anaconda, and Ice Cube fully alerted me to the already crazy atmosphere in the jungles of South and Central America. Now, if you take that crazy, and you add the crazy of Mel Gibson and Britney Spears, you potentially get a perfect storm of crazy. Like, basically there’s nothing I could hear about that happened on this trip that would surprise me. You could say: “Hey did you hear that Mel Gibson got in full Braveheart costume, teamed up with a monkey trained in gunfighting and wandered through the forest while Britney Spears rode a rhinoceros looking for small animals to kill and eat along the way,” I would say “No, I didn’t hear that, but I believe you.”
Remember when the first USA Dream Team roster was released and we found out that Jordan and Bird were going to be on the same basketball team? Well, this is kind of like that, except replace basketball with being batshit crazy. People.com reports:
Mel Gibson and Britney Spears have met a number of times since Spears checked out from her second hospitalization last month, a source tells PEOPLE.
“Mel and his wife Robin clearly saw a woman in crisis and wanted to extend themselves in any way possible,” the source says.
Britney and Mel hanging out and chatting? Man, if only I could be a non-appetizing looking, non-Jewish fly on the wall for that conversation. I would imagine it would go something like this:
MEL: Hey Britney, how are you feeling?
BRITNEY: I’m feeling well. Is that your dog? I’d like to try and fit him in my anus and then sing the national anthem. If that’s okay with you of course.
MEL: Sure, that’s not even my dog, it’s my neighbors. I agreed to watch him because I know he’s actually a key agent taking part in a global Jewish conspiracy. I was just going to kill him and eat his soul in a few hours anyway.
BRITNEY: Then it works out perfect!
MEL and BRITNEY: We’re going to be great friends!
(They stare at each other silently for 10-15 minutes)
I’m looking forward to this pairing. And to commemorate it, I’ve added one of my top ten movie quotes of all time. Enjoy.
You think just because someone’s elected, they get to be president? No sir, before anybody moves into the White House, they have to pass an entrance exam.
(18)
