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Solving the LeBron James Free Agency Issue: Make Him Play Alone

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LeBron’s best option is to launch the LeBron City LeBrons, hire some intern to be the mascot, and get to work. No way the King couldn’t handle 48 minutes a night, 90 points, and 65 rebounds, plus it would mean all the money and rings to …

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Heat vs Bulls, NBA Eastern Conference Finals: An Existential Breakdown of the Match Up

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With the Miami Heat putting away their arch rivals the Boston Celtics in the conference semis, they will now have to go through another elite team that they struggled against during the regular season, the Chicago Bulls. Both teams have explosive o…

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“Golden-voiced” Homeless Man Offered Job With Cleveland Cavilers, Accepts Job From Miami Heat

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A rapidly spreading video of a homeless man by the name of Ted Williams showing off his surprising “radio voice” has now become the reason Mr. Williams was offered a full-time job with the Cleveland Cavaliers, offering him the once-in-a-lifetime op…

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A Pre-Cap of LeBron James’ ESPN Hour-Long Signing Announcement Special

A Pre-Cap of LeBron James’ ESPN Hour-Long Signing Announcement Special

 We don’t generally like to toot our own horns around here in the Holy Taco office, but this is probably because our interns do such a mighty fine job at (insert reference to inter-office sexual favors) for us. But today, we somehow manag…

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