I’m really glad that I’m not famous, because if I was, I’d have to field questions from reporters like “Your father just released a statement saying he’s quote, ‘God damned tired of people saying big titties are …
Suddenly everybody thinks Lindsay Lohan is a Lesbian because a couple photos of her and Samantha Ronson surfaced such as the one above, where she looks like she’s at a seventh grade dance and Samantha Ronson is the boy from her drama class th…
See, it’s stories like this that make me appreciate that my dad calls me only when there’s something wrong with his “thing that plays those CD movies” or when a pitcher is currently taking a no-hitter into the seventh inning…
This is what happens when you give Paula Abdul her own TV show. Suddenly everybody asks for one and lazy executives say okay because reading scripts is annoying. It’s like when one dog starts eating a pile of shit at the dog park; suddenly …
Sometimes when you’re a really shitty dad like Lindsay Lohan’s dad, and you don’t talk to your kids and instead get drunk and make pleas to see them on television and morning radio shows, you get really excited when you get to say…