This is Marla Maples doing a handstand at the beach. Anytime i see someone doing a cartwheel, I like to play “I’m Walking On Sunshine,” and then imagine they’re in an 80s movie and they’ve either just had sex with someone who they’ve been trying to have sex with for a while, or they just won a whole bunch of money which makes them incredibly happy, but later will prove to be a curse, teaching them that life is about more than money. In this situation, I think Marla Maples is doing a cartwheel because no one gives two shits about who Marla Maples is, so since there’s paparazzi around, her brain went into “third grade kid who has parents that don’t pay attention to him so he eats a booger in front of class to get attention” mode.
Of course, the only reason I got that impression was because I didn’t look at the next picture. Which clearly shows that Marla is NOT trying to get attention, but instead has teamed up with a monkey to sexily fight crime.
You never see that monkey coming, and that’s why they’re effective.
I really wish this was from a better angle and a little closer up, but I really shouldn’t look a gift monkey-bear-bike-race video in the mouth. It’s like if you won the lottery, but somehow lost a testical during the press conference where you collect the oversized check for 46 million dollars. You could complain about missing a testical, but you might as well focus on winning all that cash. This is one of those times where we should all just be happy with what we’ve got.
Other crap to stare at:
Lame and terrible video game endings (cameltap)
This guy barfs while skydiving (doubleviking)
He’s not the world’s best gymnast (tastybooze)
South Beach has some sexy ladies (weakgame)
Tiffany Mulherron is, how you say, hot (hornyoyster)
Finally, some irrefutable evidence of evolution. According to celebritysmackblog.com an amorous ape had a little too much fun with one of Christina Ricci’s funbags:
Christina Ricci says she was already afraid of monkeys before being attacked by one on the set of her latest movie, Penelope.
The chimpanzee, Chim Chim, grabbed hold of the actresses boob and refused to let go.
She explains, “I’m afraid of monkeys but I had decided not to be afraid of this monkey because no one else is. ‘Everyone else thinks he’s awesome so just be cool.’
“It’s the first day of shooting and I have this kitchen scene where I’m sitting down and the monkey is sitting right next to me. Of course it freaks out during the take and grabs my left breast and will not let go, and he’s so strong. I’m thinking, ‘This thing is gonna rip it’s hand away and I will no longer have a boob there!’
You think just because someone’s elected, they get to be president? No sir, before anybody moves into the White House, they have to pass an entrance exam.
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