If you don’t like monkeys then I hate you. I hate you so much. I love how the people are cheering on the monkey, yet the dog is probably thinking “Holy shit, what the hell kind of dog is this?” The best part about monkeys are that they’ll F with anyone and any thing. They don’t give a shit. They’re like my cousin, except they don’t get their ass beat afterwards and start asking me why I didn’t back them up.
According to a new scientific investigation, male monkeys aren’t so different than my uncle.
A study into our primate cousins found that male macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency.
On average, females had sex 1.5 times per hour. But this rate jumped to 3.5 times per hour immediately after the female had been groomed by a male — and her partner of choice was likely to be a hunky monkey that did the grooming.
Pfffft, please. Those monkey’s have it easy. Try grooming a vegas hooker and see what that buys you.
Market forces also acted on the value of the transaction. If there were several females in the area, the cost of buying sex would drop dramatically — a male could “buy” a female for just eight minutes of nit-picking.
First you pick all the bugs off of her, THEN you hump her. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgotten that rule. Those monkeys, they’re always thinking. I gain more respect for them with each day that passes.
Being cool is normally subjective. But there are some things that unequivocally make you uncool. We’re not saying we’re cool, we’re just saying if you own any of these items, you’re not.
10. iPhone
WHY YOU THINK ...
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