monster – Holytaco

The 25 Best Things About Krampus

Are you familiar with Krampus? Our Alpine friends cooked him up as a sort of counter to Saint Nicholas. He’s basically a Christmas monster that shows up and punishes bad kids and if they’re particularly bad, they get stuffed in his sack and taken …

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Fleshlight Releases Four Fake Vaginas Inspired By Movie Monsters, Just In Time For Halloween

posted 10/06/2011
by Luis Prada

Are you tired of having lonely sex with the same old rubber replica of a human female’s vagina? Do you feel your sexual appetite has evolved pasted the anatomical limitations of the human body? Would you like to f*ck a cyborg’s poon? Who wou…

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So You Think You’ve Caught a Chupacabra: A Handy Chart

posted 08/17/2011
by Ian Fortey

About once a year news breaks on a very slow news day (the sort of day when there’s only a phone hacking scandal, maybe the economy is falling apart, maybe every Republican candidate is the reincarnation of Vlad the Impaler) that someone, in some o…

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Christine O’Donnell is Not a Witch

posted 10/22/2010
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Francis Bacon, pretending to be William Shakespeare, once wrote “the lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Not only does it make awesome use of the word “methinks,” it also sets the stage for a serious inspection of …

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The Day I Met Lil Kim

posted 07/14/2010
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It was dark. Because it was night, and the Earth rotates away from the sun when that happens. Luckily for us, Ben Johnson invented electricity. I was enjoying a drink at a random bar downtown as I planned to head towards the old, abandoned house…

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Monstrous Celebrity Profile: Sylvia Browne

posted 06/10/2010
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Everyone enjoys the world of celebrity but far too often we’re forced to read about the intelligent, the beautiful and the popular. What about all those famous people who have tar-like souls and ass-like faces? Holy Taco is here to m…

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Ortega Shells or GTFO, Wolfman

posted 09/21/2009
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How to be More Productive (TheMinimumRage) Niklas Hagman And His Perfect Goal (TotalProSports) Feeling Too Significant? Click Here. (TheChive) The Babes Of Oktoberfest (Coed) Victoria Rowells Horrible Dress (DailyFix) &nb…

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