movies – Holytaco

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 24th

We’re getting close to the time of year when it’s not even a guess what the number one movie is because studios just give up on trying to compete with each other and take turns releasing blockbusters. That said, last week was all about Star Trek bu…

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5 Versus Movies I’d Like to See

posted 05/23/2013
by Ian Fortey

Everyone likes a good versus movie I assume without even asking another human. Sure Alien vs Predator was a little weak and Freddy vs Jason was clearly a mistake, but the idea has potential. Cowboys vs Aliens was almost well liked and Godzilla vs …

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The 5 Worst Places to Endure a Fart

posted 05/21/2013
by Ian Fortey

Childish? Unnecessary? Sophomoric? No. Not at all. Listen, fart jokes are fart jokes and we’ve all heard our share but they exist for a reason – a fart is a real thing with real consequences and there are some places where farts just shouldn’t b…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 17th

posted 05/17/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week was all about Iron Man again because of course it was, all it had as competition was The Great Gatsby. This week a new brand of nerdism rears its ugly head and storms into theaters. Will any other movie have a chance? Ha ha ha, of cours…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 10th

posted 05/10/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week, predictable, Iron Man 3 made all the money ever. According to Box Office Mojo it now holds the #2 spot for the greatest gap in box office take between the top grossing film and the second top grossing film in the same week. Iron Man 3 w…

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5 Things I Never Want To See a Ghost Do Again

posted 05/08/2013
by Ian Fortey

I’ve mentioned my distaste for ghosts in horror movies before bit I feel like the message really needs to be clarified. I just found out Paranormal Activity 5 comes out this year and, frankly, I’m absolutely disgusted. God, those are bad movies. …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 3rd

posted 05/03/2013
by Ian Fortey

What a joke of an article this is going to be, in stark contrast to the usual seriousness of a series that solely exists for me to judge movies I have never and in most cases will never watch. That said, this week is especially delightful because c…

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What To Do With a GoPro Camera

posted 05/02/2013
by Ian Fortey

Some years ago I was given a GoPro camera and I promptly forgot I owned it and put it away somewhere only to just recently find it again. It’s a GoPro Hero HD 960 camera and its main purpose seems to be to take video from your POV while you dive in…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: April 26th

posted 04/26/2013
by Ian Fortey

A few years ago, couldn’t say when exactly, May really became the month when studios started ushering out the big blockbusters. Summer has always been the season of huge film releases but the date of the year’s first big tentpole seems to always fa…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: April 19th

posted 04/19/2013
by Ian Fortey

We’ve all had a week to recover from none of us seeing Scary Movie 5, so that’s good. In what was a surprise to no one, that movie sucked and is making shit money. I don’t understand how people keep throwing money at shitty ideas like that. I wil…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 5th

posted 04/05/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week I watched John Dies at the End, which you can now see on DVD or Blu Ray. I have nothing much else to say about movies in theaters. I’m sure they were all wonderful and thought provoking and interesting and not shitty. Did GI Joe open? …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 24th

5 Versus Movies I’d Like to See

The 5 Worst Places to Endure a Fart

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 17th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 10th

5 Things I Never Want To See a Ghost Do Again

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 3rd

What To Do With a GoPro Camera

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: April 26th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: April 19th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 5th

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