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Get Off My Lawn: American Traditions That Used to Be Great and Now Suck

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I’m only in my early 30s, but that’s old enough to recognize how much better some things were in the previous generation.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: September 13th

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It’s Friday the 13th so watch out for guys in hockey masks who aren’t playing hockey – that shit is straight up bad news. But until your imminent demise, let’s check out the movies that open today. Oh, I’m so excited.

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The 3 Greatest Film Adaptations Never Made

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Michael Bay, Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson. Here are there greatest stories.

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: September 6th

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It’s the beginning of September so hopefully we’re done with the August crapfest of movies like last week’s utter trash.

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 30th

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Quick, before looking, name a movie that opens this week. Yeah, you can’t because jack shit opens this week. This is the weirdest thing ever. Usually there’s at least one movie every week that is the “big” release, you know? Not this week. Ever…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 23rd

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Last week I cheaped you on reviews because, well, I was on vacation. I’m not doing this when I’m on vacation, why would I? So this week we’ll get back into the nitty gritty of judging movies based solely on their names and maybe their posters or c…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: August 16th

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Guess what? I’m on vacation. I’m not really going to see any of these movies this weekend because I will be in a casino up to my nuts in alcohol and terrible decisions. Hi-yo!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: August 9th

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So we’re powering into August and that means a heady mix of the leftover summer blockbusters and a number of movies no one loved when they were growing up. It’s fun, you’ll like it. Last week 2 Guns took the top spot, I suspect because logic dicta…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: August 2nd

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Predictably, Wolverine destroyed everything last week with his razor claws and vascular physique. Who will dare stand against the crazy Canadian this week?!?

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: July 26th

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Everyone was blown away last week when The Conjuring destroyed the box office. I finally got around to seeing it, and it’s pretty bad ass. It’s an almost perfectly constructed horror film made by someone who obviously knows what works in horror, w…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: July 19th

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God knows how Despicable Me 2 won the box office 2 weeks in a row. I’m sure it’s great and all, but come on – Pacific Rim is giant robots fighting giant aliens. Whatever, this week is probably going to red 2, but maybe RIPD. I’m going to see the …

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The 9 Best Horror Movies of the Past 5 Years

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How do you pick 9 movies and call them the best of the last 5 years when probably hundreds came out including hundreds you didn’t even see? Easy! It involves heavy use of the word “arbitrary” and a lot of not giving a shit. Sometimes you just hav…

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