movies – Holytaco

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 24th

We’re getting close to the time of year when it’s not even a guess what the number one movie is because studios just give up on trying to compete with each other and take turns releasing blockbusters. That said, last week was all about Star Trek bu…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 29th

posted 03/29/2013
by Ian Fortey

The Croods owned the box office last week because a big cartoon tentpole is always sure money. People go see animated releases now because Pixar is all artsy fartsy and you’re almost considered somehow now a film fan if you don’t sit through someth…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 22nd

posted 03/22/2013
by Ian Fortey

I honestly never remember what I wrote about the week before without looking and this week I refused to check. I think last week Oz won again even though it opened the week before. Oh, Burt Wonderstone opened last week. Yeah, no one saw that. On…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 15th

posted 03/15/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week audiences were whisked away to Oz and from the looks of things this week we’re about to be whisked away to a placed no one gives a shit about. Yeah, it’s another slow looking week of shrugs and turds but there may be one or two gems in th…

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The 7 Worst Films I Have Ever Seen

posted 03/12/2013
by Ian Fortey

There’s much to be said about the “worst” thing ever. The worst band, worst food, worst TV show, worst venereal disease. It’s a whole thing and often is rife with hyperbole. I could right now say that Michael Bay makes the worst movies ever, but …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 8th

posted 03/08/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week I actually saw Jack the Giant Slayer and it should be used to teach future generations about mediocrity. I’m as sour as an old spinster when I write these, aren’t I? Just crusty and unhappy about everything. Curse you Hollywood, make st…

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8 Characters You Need in a Wes Anderson Film

posted 03/05/2013
by Ian Fortey

Because I watched Moonrise Kingdom the other day and realized Wes Anderson has a wide/limited vision of filmmaking, let’s examine what goes into a Wes Anderson character. He makes quirky, critically adored movies that are chock full of thoughtful mo…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 1st

posted 03/01/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week was all snitches and dark skies and who cares about any of that? No one, that’s who. Movies this time of year seem kind of lazy overall, like everyone knows the summer movie season is on the way, which really starts in May, so it’s like …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb. 22nd

posted 02/22/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week, Bruce Willis fisted the competition into submission just as we all knew he would. You could film Bruce Willis trying different brands of spray-on hair for two hours, call it Die Hard and a Side of Flap Jacks and it’d still be number one …

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The 7 Best Fake Presidents of All Time

posted 02/18/2013
by Ian Fortey

Washington? Lincoln? JFK? Pretenders to the throne . The best Presidents have always been fictional because reality lacks panache. These are the best Presidents film has to offer. Behold!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 15th

posted 02/15/2013
by Ian Fortey

I have no idea what he deal is this week since a bunch of movies open on Valentine’s Day which is the 14th and why the hell would you open a movie on a Thursday? Are they expecting a lot of movie dates that night and, if so, who the hell is having …

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 8th

posted 02/08/2013
by Ian Fortey

Oh man, remember last week? There was a zombie movie and a Stallone movie and they weren’t the same thing. I have nothing else to say about that. This week is what we in the industry call “a mixed bag” and by bag I obviously mean nutsack. Let’s g…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 24th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 29th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 22nd

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 15th

The 7 Worst Films I Have Ever Seen

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 8th

8 Characters You Need in a Wes Anderson Film

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 1st

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb. 22nd

The 7 Best Fake Presidents of All Time

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 15th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 8th

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