movies – Holytaco

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 14th

This is a big weekend for movies, we’re getting into the summer fudge fest of films when every weekend is the most awesome weekend and one movie is clearly meant to make more money than all the rest. This weekend everyone was hanging their hats on …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb. 22nd

posted 02/22/2013
by Ian Fortey

Last week, Bruce Willis fisted the competition into submission just as we all knew he would. You could film Bruce Willis trying different brands of spray-on hair for two hours, call it Die Hard and a Side of Flap Jacks and it’d still be number one …

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The 7 Best Fake Presidents of All Time

posted 02/18/2013
by Ian Fortey

Washington? Lincoln? JFK? Pretenders to the throne . The best Presidents have always been fictional because reality lacks panache. These are the best Presidents film has to offer. Behold!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 15th

posted 02/15/2013
by Ian Fortey

I have no idea what he deal is this week since a bunch of movies open on Valentine’s Day which is the 14th and why the hell would you open a movie on a Thursday? Are they expecting a lot of movie dates that night and, if so, who the hell is having …

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 8th

posted 02/08/2013
by Ian Fortey

Oh man, remember last week? There was a zombie movie and a Stallone movie and they weren’t the same thing. I have nothing else to say about that. This week is what we in the industry call “a mixed bag” and by bag I obviously mean nutsack. Let’s g…

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What Happened to That Guy: 5 Squandered Potentials

posted 02/07/2013
by Ian Fortey

Hollywood is a weird place. I can say this with authority as I’ve been there on two separate occasions and once I spent a lot of time drinking. It’s built on piles of money all devoted to the seemingly arbitrary art of film, to making new Fast and…

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The 5 Best Places to Set a Horror Movie

posted 02/04/2013
by Ian Fortey

A horror movie fan is more passionate than any other kind of movie fan and I’ll tell you why – we wallow in disappointment. No other film genre so routinely suffers from disappointing films as horror.

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 1st

posted 02/01/2013
by Ian Fortey

January is finally over and with it, all bad movies. Ha ha! No, of course not, every week is bad movies with like three good ones a month. It’s a crap shoot. Which one is worth seeing? It’s hard to tell, especially if you guy by what I write si…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 25th

posted 01/25/2013
by Ian Fortey

It’s a brand new week at the ass end of January where few people try hard when it comes to films. Is that unfair? Not really. On the upside there’s a movie I actually want to see coming out this week. In limited release. Listen, limited release…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 18th

posted 01/18/2013
by Ian Fortey

It’s a new week and new contenders for the throne have reared their ugly heads. Who’s currently on the throne? Zero Dark Thirty, I think. I could look but what am I, a looker? Pfft.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 11th

posted 01/11/2013
by Ian Fortey

Naturally I didn’t want a single movie that came out last week because they were all abhorrent in some way. This week looks less awful, but there’s a lot opening in limited release that looks extra awful to make up for it. I’m starting to think ma…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 4th

posted 01/04/2013
by Ian Fortey

It’s 2013 so finally we get to reset our “worst movie of the year” lists and see what Hollywood has in store. Will the very first Friday of 2013 start off with a bang? Ha ha, what are you, new here? If there’s a single week this year that feature…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 14th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb. 22nd

The 7 Best Fake Presidents of All Time

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 15th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 8th

What Happened to That Guy: 5 Squandered Potentials

The 5 Best Places to Set a Horror Movie

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Feb 1st

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 25th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 18th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 11th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 4th

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