Explore Holy Taco

Get Off My Lawn: American Traditions That Used to Be Great and Now Suck

crop-arcade-mortal-kombat-tournament

I’m only in my early 30s, but that’s old enough to recognize how much better some things were in the previous generation.

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: July 12th

review

Last week Despicable Me 2 destroyed the Lone Ranger in humiliating and disgusting ways. The Lone Ranger is going to have to borrow money from John Carter it got ruined so bad. Probably because no one actually cares about the Lone Ranger since it’s…

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: July 5th

review

This week was all screwed up thanks to the holiday with both big releases coming out on Wednesday and today being left for the shit that studios hope make at least enough money to cover catering on the set.

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 28th

review

I’ve had a busy week and thus I know less about this week’s crop of films than usual. My level of not caring is roughly the same however.

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 21st

review

It’s a totally creepy week at the movies this week with monsters and beasts and crazy killer types. Or at least those are the movies I cherry picked because it made a kind of a theme for this particular review. Isn’t that great? Last week was what…

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 14th

review

This is a big weekend for movies, we’re getting into the summer fudge fest of films when every weekend is the most awesome weekend and one movie is clearly meant to make more money than all the rest. This weekend everyone was hanging their hats on …

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 7th

review

Last week After Earth farted onto screens that no one watched, ensuring that Fast 6 stayed on top of the heap pulling in a ton of cash that could have been used to buy food for the homeless. Ha ha ha! Anyway, on with this week.

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 31st

review

Fast 6 dominated last week because zoom! I don’t get it but who am I to judge? Just a guy who judges each and every week in this article. Yes sir.

Read Full Article

Hansel and Gretel: Cinematic Gold!

hanselandgretel

You may recall but will be forgiven if you don’t that last year a movie about Hansel and Gretel, the famous Grimm’s fairy tale, was released. It starred Hawkeye and a woman who’s fallen into a terrible trap of big budget failures whose name I’ll lo…

Read Full Article

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: May 24th

review

We’re getting close to the time of year when it’s not even a guess what the number one movie is because studios just give up on trying to compete with each other and take turns releasing blockbusters. That said, last week was all about Star Trek bu…

Read Full Article

5 Versus Movies I’d Like to See

versus_poster

Everyone likes a good versus movie I assume without even asking another human. Sure Alien vs Predator was a little weak and Freddy vs Jason was clearly a mistake, but the idea has potential. Cowboys vs Aliens was almost well liked and Godzilla vs …

Read Full Article

The 5 Worst Places to Endure a Fart

fart

Childish? Unnecessary? Sophomoric? No. Not at all. Listen, fart jokes are fart jokes and we’ve all heard our share but they exist for a reason – a fart is a real thing with real consequences and there are some places where farts just shouldn’t b…

Read Full Article