movies – Holytaco

5 Versus Movies I’d Like to See

Everyone likes a good versus movie I assume without even asking another human. Sure Alien vs Predator was a little weak and Freddy vs Jason was clearly a mistake, but the idea has potential. Cowboys vs Aliens was almost well liked and Godzilla vs …

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: September 14th

posted 09/14/2012
by Ian Fortey

Oh man, I don’t know what happened but what an awesome week for movies. I usually have to toss in at least one movie I know no one is going to see to pad these columns out but this week I had to cut stuff because there’s so much awesomeness opening…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: September 7th

posted 09/07/2012
by Ian Fortey

Summer is over so what does the first week of kids back in school and shitty movies have for us? Some shitty movies! In fairness (having never seen them, hence the clever title of this feature) I can’t be 100% sure they’re all shitty, but I have a…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 31st

posted 08/31/2012
by Ian Fortey

Last week was a bunch of burgled turds, let’s be honest. The best offering was a movie about a bike messenger. Come on. This week is…well. It’s a different week, so, you know, that’s something. And maybe all of these movies are equally the best…

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 24th

posted 08/24/2012
by Ian Fortey

Last week was a shameful event at the movies (or not, depending on your tastes) but this week is going straight up subtle with offerings that are all pretty much flying under the radar. To the movies!

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5 Planets Not Run by Apes

posted 08/22/2012
by Ian Fortey

You can’t trust a planet of the apes and I’ll tell you why – it’s run by apes. We all love a chimpanzee when they’re wearing t-shirts and engaging in delightful antics, but the downside is that every so often a chimp can and will take a person’s fa…

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: August 17th

posted 08/17/2012
by Ian Fortey

This is arguably one of the biggest weeks for movies in ages, not because it has a certified blockbuster like every week since May, but because it doesn’t. In fact, it has a lot of movies that are uniquely tailored to different audiences making it …

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 10th

posted 08/10/2012
by Ian Fortey

Last week the Hollywood machine had a possum stuck in the gears and turned out pure shit. Our apologies to anyone who went to theaters last week. This week a new set of movies with maybe some more potential and less suckitude. But who will reign …

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 3rd

posted 08/03/2012
by Ian Fortey

Last week we gave the edge over everything to Batman because of all the shite movies opening. This week, will it be different? To the reviews!!!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: July 27th

posted 07/27/2012
by Ian Fortey

Last week Batman came out and no one even tried to compete with it, so there’s not much point even discussing it. It was awesome, Batman is awesome, Bane is awesome, awesome is awesome. On with this week!

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: July 20th

posted 07/20/2012
by Ian Fortey

Last week, due to the nefarious influence of Comic Con, we missed out on this segment entirely. We probably would have aced it though, we’re good at this stuff. Anyways, on with a new week. Get your movie on!

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: July 6th

posted 07/06/2012
by Ian Fortey

It’s worth noting that, last week, our movie review article was hijacked by untrustworthy stevedores who made terribly inaccurate predictions about the state of film. Their errors were terrible and we apologize for any inconvenience they cause you.…

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5 Versus Movies I’d Like to See

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: September 14th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: September 7th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: August 31st

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 24th

5 Planets Not Run by Apes

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: August 17th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 10th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 3rd

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: July 27th

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: July 20th

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: July 6th

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